{"id":1023,"date":"2010-05-07T14:20:34","date_gmt":"2010-05-07T21:20:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?p=1023"},"modified":"2010-05-05T13:30:10","modified_gmt":"2010-05-05T20:30:10","slug":"1023","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?p=1023","title":{"rendered":"Udderly Waiting"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Waiting for the goat kids to be born next month is starting to bother me.\u00a0 Even worse it’s starting to bother the goats.\u00a0 Not the waiting part.\u00a0 Just the part where I’m always following them around trying to check out their nether regions.\u00a0 Why is it that when you want a goat to look you in the eye during a blistering lecture about tipping the feed cans, all you get is the rear view.\u00a0 But if you’re trying to check tail ligaments or an udder that is bagging up, all you get is a big head insisting on an ear scratch.<\/p>\n

Luckily, there is always something else to do around here to distract me from waiting for the goats to be born next month.\u00a0 Like arranging for the goats that will be born in October.\u00a0 I know what you’re thinking.\u00a0 That still falls under the Waiting For Goats To Be Born Category.\u00a0 However, it also falls under the categories of Clean Out The Breeding Barn (a.k.a The Love Shack), Move A Load Of Hay And Feed Bags Into The Breeding Barn, Give Everyone A Hoof Trim In Anticipation Of Company, Take The Does To The Vet For CAE And CL Tests, and, last but certainly not least, Find A Buck And Invite Him Over For Happy Hour.<\/p>\n

All of which can keep me busy for several days.\u00a0 Even weeks if you include the days of rest required between stressful events like discovering an Eastern Hognose snake under the hay pallets in the Love Shack.\u00a0 Which, for a minute, I thought was a Copperhead.\u00a0 Until it played dead and, thereby, identified itself\u00a0 and was spared from death by pitchfork.\u00a0 (Let’s pause while you google Eastern Hognose snake to see what I’m talking about.\u00a0 C’mon we both know you’re doing it.)<\/p>\n

Or when I gouged my thigh with the incredibly sharp hoof trimmers because Ray-Ray passed out in fear during his turn, crushing my hand, the trimmers and my leg together in one fell 65 pound swoop of sheep.\u00a0 Good thing I am smart enough to have well-padded thighs.\u00a0 Not everyone is as clever as me.\u00a0 How do skinny people protect their femoral artery?<\/p>\n

Never mind when I almost bit off the tip of my tongue during the blood draw for Brianna at the vet’s office.\u00a0 I mean, who was expecting her to rear up into my chin to avoid the needle?\u00a0 She’s always been a squat-and-kick kind of goat.\u00a0 Although, I could have avoided it if I wasn’t trying to keep one eyeball on Middle who was balanced on the edge of a decorative well (at least I was hoping it was a decorative well.\u00a0 There isn’t really a deep pit of water in the middle of those things, is there?)\u00a0 and the other eyeball on Pretty who seemed determined to pet a wily looking cat crouched under the tailgate.\u00a0 But I could have avoided a lot of things in life if I wasn’t trying to divide my attention among my wandering brood.\u00a0 Oh, the things I could have avoided.\u00a0 Let’s just move on before I get mired in that thought.<\/p>\n

The point is I can pass a lot of time just planning for summer pregnancies that will end in fall kids and, therefore, goat milk throughout the winter.\u00a0 I probably didn’t look at single goat vulva during the time it took for a friendly buck named Nigel to arrive in the barnyard.\u00a0 And now that he’s here, he’s an endless source of entertainment.<\/p>\n

Here he is looking confused and uncertain.\u00a0 As a bottle fed goat, he had a human “mommy”.\u00a0 But he looks like he prefers the mothering at his barn.\u00a0 Like if Pretty told him how she started to fall down the stairs as a baby and all I did was stand there going, “Oh noooooooo!”\u00a0 Hey, buddy, you’re good.\u00a0 There’s no stairs in the Love Shack.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

And here’s him with poor, sheltered, only-lived-with-females-her-entire-life Julia.\u00a0 She actually squeezed her eyes shut her in disbelief upon their introduction.\u00a0 I imagine she was thinking: “This is not really happening.\u00a0 This is not really happening.\u00a0 This is not really happening.”\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 Been there before myself.\u00a0 Like when the fourth child was a boy.\u00a0 Another one.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

But she’s been holding her ground.\u00a0 It’s a goat battle.\u00a0 No one is willing to give up.\u00a0 They will stand here in fierce determination.\u00a0 Unflinching.\u00a0 Resolved.\u00a0 Entrenched.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Which is really funny, considering their cute, soft, floppy ears are not exactly formidable armor.\u00a0 More of a hindrance.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Do you think they can even see each other under there?<\/p>\n

I don’ t know.\u00a0 So I keep checking every so often.\u00a0 Just to see how it’s going.\u00a0 If they’ve made friends yet.\u00a0 Or considered making babies.\u00a0 Hey, it keeps me busy.\u00a0 Although, peeping at goat love-making is probably just as sketchy as keeping an eye on their nether regions.\u00a0 So now I’m right back where I started.\u00a0 Worrying about critter private parts while waiting for goat kids to be born.\u00a0 I know you’re envious of my glamorous lifestyle.\u00a0 Don’t be a hater.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Waiting for the goat kids to be born next month is starting to bother me.\u00a0 Even worse it’s starting to bother the goats.\u00a0 Not the waiting part.\u00a0 Just the part where I’m always following them around trying to check out their nether regions.\u00a0 Why is it that when you want a goat to look you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[46,45,18,32,44],"class_list":["post-1023","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-buck","tag-doe","tag-goats","tag-kids","tag-udder"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1023","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1023"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1023\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1044,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1023\/revisions\/1044"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1023"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1023"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1023"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}