{"id":1181,"date":"2010-07-18T15:25:15","date_gmt":"2010-07-18T22:25:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?p=1181"},"modified":"2010-10-20T03:47:32","modified_gmt":"2010-10-20T10:47:32","slug":"no-dumping","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?p=1181","title":{"rendered":"No Dumping"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Don’t do this.<\/p>\n

Really.<\/p>\n

It breaks about 20 regulations, ordinances and, maybe, even commandments.<\/p>\n

I know what you’re thinking.\u00a0 What else do you do with the debris you collect from the back pasture except load it into the truck, strap it down, and haul it to the dump?<\/p>\n

That’s the problem.\u00a0 There is no dump.<\/p>\n

Oh, there are solid waste convenience centers (“Convenience” is used loosely in this term.\u00a0 Very loosely.), recycling drop-off sites, and landfills.\u00a0 But the word “dump” is no longer appropriate for modern trash vernacular.\u00a0 Because there is no dumping.\u00a0 There may be sorting, recycling, permitting and tipping.\u00a0 There may even be begging.\u00a0 But there is absolutely no “dumping”.<\/p>\n

I discovered this when I arrived at my local solid waste convenience center to find it closed.\u00a0 According to the sign, it’s now only open on Tuesday and Saturday.\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 That’s convenient.<\/p>\n

The sign also said “No dumping.”\u00a0 Which I thought was ironic, since it was, after all, a dump.\u00a0 But it’s not ironic.\u00a0 It is the cold hard truth.\u00a0 I know this because I drove 20 miles to the next closest solid waste convenience center in a neighboring city.<\/p>\n

I know what you’re thinking (it’s scary how I always know what you’re thinking, right?).\u00a0 Who drives 20 miles to go to the dump?<\/p>\n

Well, lucky for me I had to pick up Big from summer camp in the city anyway.\u00a0 Since the truck was already loaded I figured I’d just stop by the city dump after I picked him up.\u00a0 Which was not lucky for him.\u00a0\u00a0 Because a 10 year old boy does not like it when his mother pulls up in a dirty work shirt, farm boots, and a truck full of trash to pick him up from camp.\u00a0 It’s not cool.\u00a0 As a matter of fact, on a scale of 1 to 10 for coolness it reaches about -48.<\/p>\n

I just know that boy is going to grow up, live in a townhouse, have a goldfish, and tell heartrending stories about his humiliating childhood on a farm.\u00a0 Is this what the parenting experts mean about having a lifelong influence on your children?\u00a0 Just wondering.<\/p>\n

Anyhoo, after negotiating Big’s Embarrassing Moment, we arrived at the city solid waste convenience center to find that it was also closed.\u00a0 According to the sign, it is only open on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.\u00a0 Which made me curious about a lot of things.\u00a0 Like, do the people writing the signs really know the definition of “convenience?”\u00a0 And what do they have against Thursdays??\u00a0 And how much money has the county spent on signs that say “No Dumping” to post at the local dump sites??<\/p>\n

But this solid waste convenience site had an additional sign.\u00a0 This sign directed citizens to a landfill further down the road.\u00a0 Jackpot!\u00a0 The landfill sounded like just the place for a truck full of trash.\u00a0 We pulled off happily.\u00a0 Well, relatively happy, as Big was still hiding under the dashboard.<\/p>\n

Anyhoo, we arrived at the landfill.\u00a0 Or at least the sign said it was the landfill.\u00a0 I thought for a minute it was a maximum security prison.\u00a0 Because there was a gate.\u00a0 With barbed wire.\u00a0 And a guard shack.\u00a0 With guards.\u00a0 And signage covered with laws, regulations, restrictions, and ordinances that would take all day to read.\u00a0 Which is about how much time I had while waiting in line for the trucks in front of me to be authorized to pass the guard shack.\u00a0 Which was a shame.\u00a0 Because according to the signs I was not about to be authorized to enter.<\/p>\n

My load was not covered with a tarp.\u00a0 Bad. (Sign included statute and section of state law that requires tarps.)<\/p>\n

Apparently, I had mixed clean wood and waste wood together.\u00a0 Bad. (Sign included a 200 word description of clean and waste wood.)<\/p>\n

I had broken plastic items that could possibly be recycled.\u00a0 Bad. (Sign included a 200 word description of the types, sizes, colors, and number labels of plastic items that can and cannot be recycled)<\/p>\n

I had no intention of applying for a permit.\u00a0 Bad.\u00a0 (Sign included the convoluted steps for requesting and obtaining a permit, none of which could be done at that location.)<\/p>\n

I did not have any cash for tipping.\u00a0 Bad.\u00a0 (Sign delineated the “Tipping fee schedule” which is what it cost to leave the items in the back of your truck at the landfill.\u00a0 This is a mandatory fee, not a requested one.\u00a0 Which makes me think the sign writers also do not know the definition of “tipping.”)<\/p>\n

However, there were no signs banning the pretense of stupidity or begging for trash to be accepted.\u00a0 Which is exactly what I did when I finally got the green light (Literally, the green light.\u00a0 There was a stop light set back from the entrance with a sign announcing you could not progress until the light was green.\u00a0 I am thinking this is more security than there is at the border, folks.\u00a0 How ’bout you?).\u00a0 I smiled very big, tilted my head like a sweet, confused puppy and said,<\/p>\n

“Hey, is there where you bring trash, y’all?”<\/p>\n

Guess what?\u00a0 People before me have tried to get their trash into the landfill by pretending to be stupid.\u00a0 The guards are immune to the stupidity defense.\u00a0 They will not let you and your truck of trash enter the landfill.<\/p>\n

Commence the begging.<\/p>\n

Begging will not gain you entrance to the magical world of the landfill, either.\u00a0 No, these guards are far too tricky to be overcome by the plight of a mother and her humiliated son, doomed to wander the roads in search of safe passage for her trash.\u00a0 But it will earn you a description of the local solid waste convenience centers, their convenient locations, and when they are conveniently open for you to conveniently sort through your trash, and place it in the conveniently numbered receptacles and recycling bins.\u00a0 Remember: if the gates are closed, there is No Dumping.<\/p>\n

Yeah, no kidding.<\/p>\n

So, I returned 2 days later to my local solid waste convenience center when it was finally open.\u00a0 I received a warning about the fact that my items were not covered by a tarp and, therefore, were a\u00a0 hazard to other drivers if they fell out.\u00a0 I refrained from pointing out the 20 bungees cords securing my trash.\u00a0 I also refrained from mentioning that if I didn’t have to drive all over the county looking for an open dump, it would not be such a road hazard.<\/p>\n

I even refrained from rolling my eyes when the\u00a0 trash attendant instructed me to check the bottom of the broken plastic transplant pots for the proper recycling numbers, which, of course they didn’t have.\u00a0 It would be nice if the recycling of plastic planters was up to speed with things like, say, water bottles and shampoo bottles.\u00a0 But I’m betting the environmentalists in charge of recycling labels have been distracted by the zillion pounds of oil leaking into the Earth’s oceans.\u00a0 Just a guess.<\/p>\n

So I sorted and recycled and neatly placed my items in the numbered receptacles.\u00a0 And I returned home to find my neighbor burning his trash in a barrel in his back yard.\u00a0 Which is illegal.\u00a0 But is, as it turns out, convenient in the true meaning of the word.\u00a0 Go figure.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Don’t do this. Really. It breaks about 20 regulations, ordinances and, maybe, even commandments. I know what you’re thinking.\u00a0 What else do you do with the debris you collect from the back pasture except load it into the truck, strap it down, and haul it to the dump? That’s the problem.\u00a0 There is no dump. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[74,75,73],"class_list":["post-1181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dump","tag-landfill","tag-trash"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1181","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1181"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1181\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1544,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1181\/revisions\/1544"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}