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<\/a><\/p>\nHowever, when we were packing for our Mother’s Day trip to the beach this year and discovered the hot water heater was broken (Yeah! Happy Mother’s Day!\u00a0 Cold showers for everyone!), I figured we’d settle for hauling it out and replacing it with more of the same.\u00a0 I thought I could angle for turning up the temperature a bit or maybe a tank that held a few more gallons.\u00a0 But I was still resigned to at least 5 more years of laying exhausted and dirty on the couch at night, waiting for the hot water to recover after the bathing of 4 children before I could scrub off my own barn grime.\u00a0 Which sucked but didn’t suck as bad as when I got in the shower and had to turn the water on and off between soaking, soaping, and rinsing in order to preserve the little bit of warmth remaining in the pipes.\u00a0 I’m not fancy enough for Misogi,<\/a> people.\u00a0 Not even close.<\/p>\n So I was surprised when The Other Half called me at work to tell me the plumber had given him a reasonable quote on a tankless water heater.\u00a0 Did I want that system installed instead of just replacing the old water heater?\u00a0 A tankless water heater??\u00a0 The kind that provides an unlimited<\/strong> amount of hot water??? On demand<\/strong>????\u00a0 And costs 10X<\/strong> the amount of a regular ol’ water heater?????\u00a0 I took a few seconds to consider if The Other Half:<\/p>\n 1.\u00a0 ….won the lottery, stashed the rest of the money in an offshore account, and was now feeling generous.<\/p>\n 2.\u00a0 ….had done something very, very, very bad and was trying to distract me.<\/p>\n 3.\u00a0 …..was drunk at 10 in the morning.<\/p>\n But I immediately decided, “Who the heck cares???\u00a0 For better or worse, people.\u00a0 Go for the unlimited hot water!!!!!!<\/em>”<\/p>\n I informed him that I wanted the tankless water heater.\u00a0 He started explaining about propane tanks and relief and vent valves and proper clearance from ignition sources and filling connections and blah, blah, blah, blah, man problems.\u00a0 I assured him that I still wanted it.\u00a0 He told me it would take more days without hot water to get the new system put in than just replacing the other tank, that installation would involve emptying everything out of the closet under the stairs (coolers and paint cans and tackle boxes, oh my!) and spewing it all over the downstairs until the set up was complete, and that I’d have to stay at home for at least an entire day waiting for the plumber and propane company to arrive and get the work done.\u00a0 Please!\u00a0 It was like he thought he was married to some kind of impatient, demanding, Type A declutter freak that resented any interference in her afternoons spent lunching with friends (hey, for better or worse, people).\u00a0 I reiterated that I still wanted it.<\/p>\n That evening we spent some time walking around the house considering the placement of the propane tank.\u00a0 The Other Half wanted me to be very sure that I didn’t mind the tank next to the deck stairs, which was my first suggestion.\u00a0 He kept describing the appearance and the dimensions of the tank again and again.\u00a0 He thought I might be happier with it on the other side of the deck.\u00a0 You know, right in the middle of the weigela I’ve been growing to cover the underside of the deck.<\/p>\n I assured him that we weren’t disturbing the landscaping.\u00a0 Instead I decided to simply move the potted caladium from either side of the deck stairs, allowing room for the tankless heater and the propane tank.\u00a0 The propane company, too, wondered at my placement and the men who arrived to set up the tank also suggested putting it on the other side of the deck.\u00a0 Apparently, aesthetics are a big concern for fancy people with fancy tankless water systems.\u00a0 I happen to have this at the top of my driveway:<\/p>\n Because any time now we’re going to sell that truckbed tool box, spare fencing is a farm necessity, someday I’m going to make a cold frame with those old windows, copper piping with a few holes in it is surely worth something, a plastic pallet will eventually serve a purpose, and no one ever puts the saw horses away when they’re done with them.\u00a0 Fancy is relative.<\/p>\n I told the propane guys that we weren’t messing with the landscaping, moved the potted plants out of their way, and asked them if I needed to level the ground for them.\u00a0 They told me they had tools and equipment to set everything up and they went to work.\u00a0 But soon they came to the door and asked if they could use some of the rocks to help level the tank.<\/p>\n “What rocks?”\u00a0 I asked.<\/p>\n “You know, those nice flat ones,” one of the guys said, indicating the pavers leading to the deck.\u00a0 I blinked at him.<\/p>\n “That’s also landscaping,”\u00a0 I pointed out.\u00a0 He looked at my overgrown mint and creeping jenny gone wild<\/span> beautifully tended walkway and shrugged.<\/p>\n “Um, sure, ” he agreed.\u00a0 “We’ll just get some stuff from the truck.”<\/p>\n When they finished, I replaced the potted plants.\u00a0 There.\u00a0 Fabulous.<\/p>\n I’m sure it will look much fancier when the caladium grows in.\u00a0 If not it will still be good for distracting one’s attention from when the chickens get into the front yard and and scratch all the mulch out of the weigela bed into the grass.<\/p>\n I knew all that fancy was starting to pay off when a few days after the heater was installed and running perfectly, Pretty came home from school and saw me sitting at the laptop.<\/p>\n “Why are you so dressed up?”\u00a0 she asked.<\/p>\n “I had an eye appointment today so I showered when I came out of the garden,” I said, pleased that she had noticed.\u00a0 Then, as she dumped her backpack and headed upstairs, I realized what I was wearing.\u00a0 I had on a clean pair of jeans and a green t-shirt.\u00a0 OK, maybe it was a green “top.”\u00a0 Because even though it was just cotton, it did<\/em> have a scoop neckline.\u00a0 For a minute I wondered how far a person has to fall to make jeans and a t-shirt seem fancy.\u00a0 But then I remembered I didn’t care.\u00a0 Because I had unlimited hot water<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Besides I was busy looking at some great ways to fancy up my new propane tank.<\/p>\n Oh my.<\/p>\n Sometimes the fancy possibilities never end, people.\u00a0 Never end.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n