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<\/a><\/p>\nShe stands on the front door, nails scrabbling madly on the window sill, barking at new arrivals.\u00a0 Which serves in place of a doorbell for us.\u00a0 She cannot be trusted around small livestock—she salivates through the fence at goat kids, leaves a swath of dead chickens in her path, and feels free to rid the barn of barn cats.\u00a0 She cannot even be left unsupervised with my mom’s rat terriers because I’m not sure she really believes that they are dogs.\u00a0 Although, in her defense, none of us are really sure about that.<\/p>\n
She dominates her much bigger litter mate, Orion.\u00a0 She growls at him if he approaches her food bowl.\u00a0 She growls at him if he tries to beat her to the couch.\u00a0 She growls at him if visitors dare to pet him instead of her.\u00a0 Basically, she growls at him if he looks at her sideways.\u00a0 Like everyone else who grew up with a difficult sibling, Orion just ignores her when she’s being pissy.\u00a0 And he sighs at her a lot.<\/p>\n I always assumed Luna’s attitude derived from her size.\u00a0 Smaller and skinnier seems like such an uncomfortable way to live. \u00a0 Having such a high metabolism must mean always feeling at least slightly hungry.\u00a0 Hungry.\u00a0 Ugh.\u00a0 Visible hipbones and ribs….awkward.\u00a0 Even France is banning those sorts of things<\/a>.\u00a0 And all that competition.\u00a0 Face it, no matter how hard you try, isn’t there always someone sleeker than you?\u00a0 Someone who says she loves free range chicken, too, she just does lots of yoga.\u00a0 (Oh, please, yoga?!)<\/p>\n Since most of Luna’s behavior occurred behind closed doors I treated it like any other family dysfunction.\u00a0 I vacillated between ignoring it, yelling “Knock it off, Luna!” 100 times a day, and short attempts to address it with proper training before getting distracted by something else and giving up.\u00a0 Because that’s the proper way to treat dysfunction.\u00a0 Everybody’s doin’ it that way, people.\u00a0 Everybody.<\/p>\n And if you’re worried about poor Orion, don’t be.\u00a0 Like most males living with an overbearing female, Orion plods through life, relaxed and unconcerned.\u00a0 Because the benefit of living with a crazed, domineering freak is that said freak will make all the decisions.\u00a0 Should we bark at this stranger or just show our bellies for a good rub?<\/p>\n Do we need to go outside?\u00a0 Do we need to come back in?<\/p>\n Are the humans eating and are they giving out tidbits?\u00a0 Is there a squirrel on the bird feeder?\u00a0 Is that a tennis ball?\u00a0 OMG, are the kids getting up?\u00a0 Are the kids getting up?? Are they???\u00a0 Are they????\u00a0 As Luna rushes upstairs and downstairs in the house and from the the fence at the top of the driveway to the fence shared with the barn in the yard, assessing and applying her response, Orion calmly waits to be told what to do.\u00a0 It’s not too stressful.<\/p>\n We know Luna has the family interests at heart because she always puts herself between us and strangers.\u00a0 And although she’s never really been tested, we’ve run into people who put her on edge and she wasn’t afraid to show it.\u00a0 (Is there anything creepier than a nice, smiley, normal-looking person that immediately makes your dog defensive?\u00a0 Like she can smell the dead bodies in his basement on him???)\u00a0 We know Orion would follow Luna’s example because following Luna is what Orion does, but we’ve wondered if he would rise to fierceness on his own.\u00a0 I suppose it doesn’t really matter because anyone coming for the kids would have to peel 115 pounds of Orion off them just to get close.<\/p>\n So their disparate personalities would be just fine.\u00a0 Except for one thing.\u00a0 Dog walking in public places.<\/p>\n Because even on a dog walk, Luna insists on being in charge, hence, in front of Orion.\u00a0 And she will whine, bark, or pull like a Luna-tic in order to accomplish the proper walking order.\u00a0 In addition, if we encounter any other dogs walking along the path, Luna insists on barking at them like a Luna-tic as well.\u00a0 Because they need to know that she is in charge.<\/p>\n Ordinarily we go off-road, hiking along wilder paths, following rivers and streams, climbing rock hills.<\/p>\n We rarely met other dog walkers on these paths and when we did, they tended to be the rugged type of individuals who weren’t impressed by Luna’s barking.\u00a0 Or they had a Luna-tic dog of their own that was barking and pulling at the leash and we all nodded with empathy at each other.\u00a0 When the kids were walking with me, I always had Pretty step off the path with Luna (Luna is officially her<\/em> dog), make Luna sit in the woods, and let other dog walkers pass while Luna whined or yapped.\u00a0 If I was on my own hiking with the dogs, I simply shortened the leashes, kept up a quick pace, and swept past the other dog walkers so that Luna didn’t have much time to fuss and only managed a couple quick yips as we went by.\u00a0 It was annoying but manageable. <\/em> And, Lord knows, with everything else going on around here, “annoying but manageable” sits on the back burner.\u00a0 Because “OMG, what the heck are you doing?!!!<\/em><\/strong>” is up front.<\/p>\n Then 2 things changed.<\/p>\n First, Luna began fussing at walkers without dogs as well.\u00a0 Ordinarily, a person without a dog passed without any interest.\u00a0 Except for the rare and random occasions when he or she smelled like a serial killer.\u00a0 (Creepy.)\u00a0 Now I went from having to restrain Luna at the sight of an approaching dog, to tightening up the leash whenever anyone approached.\u00a0 Which was annoying and<\/em> embarrassing.\u00a0 Most people can relate to a dog that barks at another dog.\u00a0 They are dogs, after all.\u00a0 But barking like a Luna-tic at a human just passing by in public isn’t socially acceptable.\u00a0 It really reflects more poorly on the owner than on the dog.\u00a0 I already have 4 kids that randomly and shockingly make me look bad in public on occasion (Little has a horrible staring-and-pointing-while-gasping-out-loud-in-Walmart problem.\u00a0 He’s like the shaming People Of Walmart website in real time).\u00a0 So I don’t need a dog that makes me look bad, too.<\/p>\n Second, the neighboring town built a lovely, amazing, paved walkway along the river.\u00a0 It’s called the Riverwalk and it meanders along the river banks, through the woods, under railroad trestles, across artistic bridges, and into town.\u00a0 It’s an easy gradient for those days when your thighs aren’t up for a mountain workout.\u00a0 It’s a conveniently dry place to walk when all the other local trails are muddy.\u00a0 And it has multiple access points from the trail to local places of interest like a park with playground equipment and athletic fields for the kids, the farmers market, a little Mexican restaurant, and a local grocery\/cafe\/coffee shop.\u00a0 A grocery\/cafe\/coffee shop that will let you sit at an outside table with your dog. <\/em> So I can walk the dogs, get my coffee, and reload all the calories I burned off (plus some) with a nice, freshly baked chocolate croissant all in the same place. \u00a0 I know, right?\u00a0 Brilliant!<\/p>\n Of course, I wasn’t the only person with that idea.\u00a0 The trail was always busy in the afternoons and on weekends—families with kids on foot, scooters, and trikes; walkers and joggers; lots and lots of dogs on their daily constitutional.\u00a0 So there were lots of Luna-tic challenges.\u00a0 The kids and I spent several afternoons enjoying an iced coffee or Pirate Booty<\/a> (the new crack for kids) at an outside table after walking the dogs.\u00a0 Luna used to be content to whine a little bit and stare hard at other dogs on the patio.<\/p>\n But I was worried that her behavior was getting unpredictable.\u00a0 And I could only enjoy my coffee and chocolate croissant if I was sure my Luna-tic wouldn’t bark at all the other customers or try to pull me out of my chair to get at the other dogs sleeping calmly beneath their owners’ tables.\u00a0 Again, annoying and<\/em> embarrassing.\u00a0 Plus, it could make me spill my iced coffee.<\/p>\n Well, nothing’s going to get between me and a chocolate croissant.\u00a0 So I decided it was finally time to fix the Luna-tic problem.\u00a0 I picked up a bag of training dog treats (“Choice of Top Trainers.\u00a0 Provides Focus, Motivation, Shorter Learning Curve!”) and put some in my pocket on our next walk.\u00a0 My plan was, best case scenario, to reward Luna with a treat every time she passed a walker or dog without fussing or, worst case scenario, to distract her by giving her treats to hold her attention while anyone passed us.\u00a0 Too bad that Luna found barking at passersby much more rewarding than Bacon Flavor Plus Vegetables and Fruits.\u00a0 Despite the exclamation point on the treat package.\u00a0 Poking her in the eye with the treats would have been more effective than trying to get her to eat them.\u00a0 And it almost came to that.\u00a0 Because I had to hold Orion’s leash with one hand (While he stood there idly pretending he didn’t know us.\u00a0 Just like we do to Little at Walmart.), hold Luna’s collar with the other hand as she barked hysterically, and simultaneously dig in my pocket for treats with my….wait a minute….oh, yeah…out of hands.<\/p>\n It wasn’t exactly a Cesar Millan<\/a> moment.\u00a0 After 2 walks without any change in Luna’s behavior, zero interest in the treats, and spilling $19.95 worth of Real Pork Liver and Bacon with Added Botanifits (WTH???) plus Herbal Extracts Loaded with Omegas all over the trail for the local squirrel population, I gave up that plan.\u00a0 Because 2 walks of that kind is 1 too many.<\/p>\n Next I picked up a Walk ‘n Train! collar\/harness\/head strap thingy.\u00a0 It had a loop that went over the dog’s nose and tightened when pulled.\u00a0 It also had a safety strap that hooked to the dog’s collar for extra control.\u00a0 According to the website, it could be used to stop leash pulling as well as nuisance barking during walks.\u00a0 Perfect.\u00a0 I took it out of the package and was immediately mystified by all the straps and adjustment slides.\u00a0 There was a diagram illustrating proper wear included in the package, but the dog sitting calmly in the picture didn’t remotely resemble Luna flinging herself around in the kitchen and pawing at her face.\u00a0 So it was hard to tell if the collar was on right.<\/p>\n “No way she’s going to wear that,” Pretty declared.<\/p>\n “Sure she is, ” I replied.\u00a0 “If she pulls it off, I’ll just slide it back on.\u00a0 Eventually she’ll give up on pulling it off and walk with it on.”<\/p>\n Perhaps Pretty was not impressed with my previous example of persistence as demonstrated by the 2-walks-with-treats plan.<\/p>\n “We should bring her regular collar just in case,”\u00a0 she suggested.<\/p>\n “It’s fine,”\u00a0 I insisted as Luna hopped in the car, having already freed her snout from the head halter, leaving the entire contraption hanging from her leash and dragging in the driveway.\u00a0 The safety strap did not appear to be Luna-tic tested.<\/p>\n We parked at the main entrance to the Riverwalk, which was handily located between a playground overflowing with little children and a dogpark loaded with unleashed dogs.\u00a0 As soon as Luna exited the vehicle I slid the collar back over her snout and tried to move into a quick walking pace on the trail.\u00a0 I figured if we just kept moving then she didn’t have time to fight the collar.\u00a0 I figured wrong.<\/p>\n As soon as her paws hit the ground, Luna flailed around madly, pawing at her face while simultaneously barking at the dogs in the dogpark and thrashing in spastic circles towards the kids on the playground.\u00a0 It was a million times worse than when I just held her pinned to my side with her choke collar, firmly keeping myself between her yapping and any approaching dogs or walkers.\u00a0 I’m not sure being “embarrassed” properly describes what it’s like to show up in public with one of those zombie dogs from I Am Legend<\/a>.<\/p>\n Pretty and Orion walked off down the trail without looking back.\u00a0 Because that’s the kind of loyalty we have in our family.\u00a0 But it was, ultimately, my salvation.\u00a0 Because as much as Luna hated that collar, she hated letting Orion lead the way on a walk even more.\u00a0 So after my 5th time of sliding the collar back over her nose, she gave up fighting and trotted quickly up the trail after Orion.\u00a0 And all members of the playground and dog park sighed in relief.<\/p>\n Of course, it wasn’t over.\u00a0 As we went along, Luna often stopped to have a go at the nose strap on the collar.\u00a0 But I could shorten her fight by telling her “No!” and jogging ahead a few steps so she had to stop messing with it to keep up.\u00a0 Me.\u00a0 Jogging.\u00a0 Ugh.\u00a0 There was a list of Helpful Hints including in the Walk ‘n Train! package.\u00a0 None of the hints suggested how to keep from getting shin splints while getting your dog accustomed to the collar.\u00a0 I was beginning to feel like a company had to have scientific proof of success before being allowed to put exclamation points on the product packaging.<\/p>\n However, about halfway through the walk, Luna decided that barking at passing humans wasn’t worth the effort.\u00a0 We were back to the days when we could pass anyone without a dog without any trouble.\u00a0 It was lovely.\u00a0 People often comment on the size and appearance of the dogs when we are walking them together.\u00a0 They are just big enough and their coloring is just a bit more distinctive than most German Shepherds so that they are remarkable.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n