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<\/a><\/p>\nThank goodness that we have lots of dog towels around here. \u00a0If you have dogs (or pets of any kind) I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. \u00a0If not, “dog” towels are the old, ripped, stained towels that are used for wiping dirty dog paws \u00a0or rubbing the dogs down when they come in from the rain. \u00a0We also use dog towels for cleaning up chicks with pasty butt, sheep with bloody broken horns, and injection site abscesses on goats. \u00a0We use them to clean up newborn goat kids, too, but I’m going to admit I’ve thrown dog towels away rather than wash them after being used during kidding. \u00a0Even dog towels have a capacity limit on goo and yuck.<\/p>\n
If you’re waiting for ink stains to be removed by hairspray and dog towels, you have a lot of time on your hands. \u00a0But, like I said, 2016 built up my resiliency. \u00a0So instead of being disheartened by such a pathetic start to my New Year, I spent that time getting things in order. \u00a0After all, if you think you’re going to “drain the swamp” you might want to start draining your own swamp first. \u00a0I’m just sayin’.<\/p>\n
A few days ago I used up a bunch of leftover soap and lotion supplies in order to consolidate my stock pile. \u00a0This is by far the best recipe for lotion bars<\/a> on the internet and I had everything I needed for the luxury lotion bars with Vitamin E. \u00a0I made 4 bars of that and a whole new jar of anti-fungal cream<\/a>. \u00a0Both of these items are wonderful for winter hands and feet—smoothing dry and cracked skin. \u00a0They are a little rich and oily for use right before you walk out the door but perfect for putting on before bed. \u00a0As soon as I finished, I put away my soap and lotion supplies, but I just tossed that greasy mold in the mudroom sink.<\/p>\n Because I needed to test my lotion and cream and once I had smeared it into my hands and feet all I could do was sit on the couch and read for the next 4 hours. \u00a0Anything else would mess up the test.<\/p>\n Now I know what you’re thinking. \u00a0At some point another member of my household came along, discovered that greasy mold in the mudroom sink, and thought, “Oh, she didn’t have time to clean her lotion mold. \u00a0I’ll just clean that up for her. \u00a0You know, since she spends about 22 hours of every day cleaning up after me.” \u00a0And if you think that, then you’re still drunk from New Year’s Eve. \u00a0Don’t drive anywhere until you have several cups of coffee and a couple hours to lower your BAC.<\/p>\n No, the mold was still sitting there while I was filling the washer with hot water to soak off those ink stains. So I pulled out my good degreaser soap, the Dawn soap that I keep hidden away and is only used for cleaning the lanolin out of sheep fleece. \u00a0It’s good for cleaning soap and lotion molds, too, and I filled up the mudroom sink to start that process of washing and rinsing, washing and rinsing. \u00a0Since that was apparently the theme for the New Year.<\/p>\n With two projects going that required work and wait, I started in on the tupperware cabinet. \u00a0Is tupperware a source of never-ending drama at your house? \u00a0Has anyone else pitched a fit when they put leftovers in a container and only then realized they could not find the matching lid? \u00a0Does anyone else make a trip to the store to get new tupperware only to have the kids empty their lunchboxes and all of it magically reappears?\u00a0 Has anyone else threatened to kill a family member when said family member emptied the dishwasher and just threw all the clean tupperware into the cabinet haphazardly, without any attempt to put it in the proper spot?<\/p>\n No? \u00a0Huh.<\/p>\n Regardless, I gathered a bunch of dollar store bins and containers and started in on that mess under the cabinet. \u00a0I’m hopeful that putting the pot lids and the casserole dishes into the back will help control the mess. \u00a0I rarely use pot lids because it’s sooooo much easier to just put a plate over a pot than to get out a pot lid. \u00a0You know that, right?<\/p>\n But I do occasionally have people over for dinner and break out my pot lids just so I don’t look like a complete redneck. \u00a0I also rarely use my casserole dishes because something about making a casserole recipe tempts people to add cream of mushroom soup. \u00a0Gag! \u00a0Cream of mushroom soup! \u00a0So those suckers only come out when I need extra pans for holiday side dishes. \u00a0Maybe you get out your china for company, \u00a0I get out my pot lids and my casserole dishes. \u00a0Because I’m fancy like that.<\/p>\n With those bulky items out of the way, I sorted the tupperware and corralled it into bins. \u00a0Each bin has a particular shape of tupperware and the matching lids. \u00a0You know, round with round, rectangle with rectangle, square with square. \u00a0And all those little lunchbox containers got their own bin. \u00a0Now it should be easy to find what you need and easy to see where each piece goes when putting tupperware away. If<\/em> you take the time to see where each piece goes instead of just throwing the tupperware back into the cabinet. \u00a0Dollar store bins can fix unorganized, but it remains to be seen if the dollar store bins can fix lazy. \u00a0When I was done it looked…..well, it was….um, kinda, sort of….the same. \u00a0Except in bins. \u00a0Huh.<\/p>\n Well, the clothes still had ink stains, although they were finally starting to fade. \u00a0Which meant I had time to attack the silverware and gadget drawer. \u00a0I needed to get that drawer done because I got a new husband for my anniversary and I needed to clear a spot to keep him for the New Year. \u00a0By new “husband” I mean this:<\/p>\n I was at my friend’s house in Charlotte a couple weeks ago when I saw her use that handy gadget to open a jar.<\/p>\n “What is that???” \u00a0I asked.<\/p>\n “Oh, I call it my husband, ” she said. \u00a0“You know, ’cause when he’s not here I can use it to open anything.”<\/p>\n Brilliant. \u00a0I immediately needed one. \u00a0And apparently my real husband had to go to a million stores to find it in time for our anniversary. \u00a0Which means it deserved a nice, clean place to live instead of a cluttered, overflowing silverware and gadget drawer. \u00a0Does anyone know why the silverware drawer gets so disgustingly dirty? \u00a0The only thing that goes in there is clean silverware. \u00a0So why does it look like this when you you take the silverware out of it?<\/p>\n Gag! \u00a0 More-than-cream-of-mushroom-soup-gag! \u00a0So I emptied out the entire drawer. \u00a0Wiped everything down. \u00a0Threw away a bunch of odds and ends. \u00a0Sorted the gadgets. \u00a0In the end, voila!, it looked…..well, it was….um, kinda, sort of….the same. \u00a0Except wiped down. \u00a0Huh.<\/p>\n Apparently draining your own swamp is harder than some people realize.<\/p>\n The clothes needed another round of hairspray. \u00a0But the mold was degreased, clean, and dry, so I put it away. \u00a0Which meant the only thing left in the mudroom sink was the seashells I had been bleaching for a few weeks. \u00a0I have a supply of beach shells in the backyard that I use as mulch around the base of one of the trees. \u00a0If seashell mulch sounds weird to you then you don’t have 4 kids that spent the last 10 years bringing you shells during trips to the beach. \u00a0Shells that they carefully picked out for you. \u00a0Shells that are too pretty or perfect or special to be tossed back into the sand. \u00a0So I bring those pretty or perfect or special shells home and use them as pretty perfect special mulch around one of the oak trees. \u00a0Where I can feel all the love that was involved in choosing those shells without them taking up all the space in the house. \u00a0And when the chickens kick those shells into the yard and then when I’m mowing the lawn and the shells get flung out from under the lawnmower in a pretty perfect special attempt to gouge out one of my eyes, I only curse a little bit. \u00a0Because the love cuts down on the pain a little bit. \u00a0A very little bit.<\/p>\n Anyhoo.<\/p>\n The shells were in the sink because I picked some out for this project I saw on the internet:<\/p>\n I already had the blue markers but I had been steadily spraying the shells with bleach, letting them sit, and then rinsing them in the hopes of getting nice bright clean shells for my project. \u00a0And maybe it was the years of living under the oak tree or getting kicked around in the mower but my shells were still pretty dingy. \u00a0Well, it’s a New Year, people. \u00a0Time to get things done. \u00a0I hauled those shells out to the greenhouse and gave them a quick coat of white spray paint. \u00a0Which did the job just fine.<\/p>\n Too bad the clothes still <\/em>had ink stains when I checked on them in the washer. \u00a0I sprayed with hairspray and started another wash cycle. \u00a0Now I know what you’re thinking: \u00a0“Does this woman not have any<\/em> barn chores to do? \u00a0I mean, is she really painting freaking seashells to make them white<\/em>????”<\/p>\n The truth is that I had just been putting off my barn chores. \u00a0Because while I was working on New Year’s Eve protecting people from their own party mishaps, my Great Pyrenees were having a party mishap of their own. \u00a0Sometime during the night they broke out of the pasture. \u00a0Which I blame on the shooting and fireworks that drive poor Bruno insane. \u00a0Around 2 am, some concerned citizens called the house saying they found Bella wandering in the middle of the road. \u00a0The Other Half and Pretty rushed off to rescue her. \u00a0They brought her home but Bruno was nowhere to be found, although the citizens said he was there when they first saw the dogs, but he ran off when they stopped to catch them. \u00a0Pretty locked Bella in the kidding barn and then set off with The Other Half to find Bruno. \u00a0But he was nowhere to be seen and didn’t respond when they stood calling his name. Because he never does. \u00a0Bruno comes home when he feels like coming home and that’s not until the night is over. \u00a0By the time the sun came up, Bella had chewed her way out of the kidding barn and the next door neighbor called to say she was in his yard. \u00a0And Bruno was laying on the deck waiting for someone to let him into the barnyard and give him breakfast. \u00a0This time when The Other Half went to get Bella, she had very obviously been skunked.<\/p>\n So the truth is that starting the New Year by painting seashells is whole lot easier than facing your skunked Great Pyr.<\/p>\n But it had to be done.<\/p>\n With the clothes on their final (I hoped!) wash, I headed out into the rain. \u00a0I could smell Bella from the deck. \u00a0Bruno didn’t appear any worse for the wear, but he already gets glucosmine once a day for his joints. \u00a0Bella limped over to the gate, which could have been an injury to her leg from the skunk, an injury from digging out of the kidding barn, or just plain soreness from celebrating the New Year in Great Pyr style by wandering all over the county. \u00a0She had her breakfast and her biscuit while I did the other critters and checked out the kidding barn for the damage. \u00a0Then there was nothing to do except bite the stinky bullet and give her a solid once-over.<\/p>\n Since Pyrs are covered in 2 tons of fur, there’s no easy way to check them for injuries. \u00a0Mostly it involves giving them hugs and belly rubs and head scratches with one hand while fondling them everywhere with the other. \u00a0Great Pyrs, being the lovable sort, prefer to practically sit in your lap during this process. \u00a0It can be a bit awkward and uncomfortable. \u00a0But it’s worth it. \u00a0Because even though Bella weighs 100 pounds now and smelled like a Tauntaun (flashback!), she still looks like this to me:<\/p>\n There was really no hope to smell like anything less than a skunk by the time the job was done. \u00a0But the good news was that Bella didn’t have any bad injuries, just soreness.<\/p>\n The better news was that when I went inside, peeled off my skunk clothes, and pulled Middle’s clothes out of the washer to put in my own, his clothes were clean. \u00a0Kinda. \u00a0Sort of. \u00a0A couple of them had a few faded ink spots. \u00a0But they were wearable. \u00a0Especially considering they were going on a 13 year old boy who would probably get them covered in mud or pizza or ink spots himself within a few weeks anyway.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n