{"id":1489,"date":"2010-10-19T14:41:09","date_gmt":"2010-10-19T21:41:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?p=1489"},"modified":"2010-11-09T14:03:15","modified_gmt":"2010-11-09T21:03:15","slug":"i-win-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?p=1489","title":{"rendered":"I win! (today)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Round bales of hay are very convenient<\/a>.\u00a0 And wasteful.\u00a0 Perhaps they are fine for cows and horses.\u00a0 But goats tear huge long strips off the roll.\u00a0 They eat two mouthfuls of the strip and then trample the rest of it around the barn.\u00a0 So eventually I have to haul away huge loads of nasty hay down to the garden.<\/p>\n

Goats also climb on top of the rolls.\u00a0 Which is cute.\u00a0 Until they defecate up there, soiling the hay, and then (reasonably) refusing to eat it.\u00a0 Not cute.\u00a0 Not cute at all.\u00a0 Even if the goats don’t soil the hay, the chickens will roost up there, leaving their own droppings.\u00a0 As well as hiding their eggs right in the middle of the roll where no one can reach.\u00a0 Except for the livestock guardian dog, who climbs up, eats the eggs (in total violation of his contract), and rolls in the droppings, further loosening strips of hay.\u00a0 And I already told you what happens to strips of hay.<\/p>\n

I have seen the enemy and he is Legion.<\/p>\n

To further compound the problem, my barn has room for one and a half round bales underneath the roof line.\u00a0 They don’t sell half of a round bale.\u00a0 So I have to settle for only one bale and roll another bale up the hill again in 4 months or less, depending on how much tearing, climbing, and soiling has gone on.\u00a0 Which makes me feel too close to Sisyphus for comfort.<\/p>\n

Obviously, the only way to make round bales even worth the effort is to:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 keep the goats from tearing off strips<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 keep the goats from climbing on top of the hay and soiling it<\/p>\n

3. keep the chickens from roosting on the hay and soiling it<\/p>\n

4. find a hot guy willing to come over whenever I want and roll bales of hay into the barn while I sit on the deck, watching and sipping green tea<\/p>\n

Wait, I mean,<\/p>\n

4. find a way to extend the roof line without spending more than the $18 left in the Barn Funds jar on top of the fridge.<\/p>\n

It’s almost like one of those ridiculous word problems involving a bus going to Cleveland and a train headed for Philadelphia that left 10 minutes apart, at varying speeds, and figuring which one will arrive first.\u00a0 I know there’s a way to solve the problem without checking the bus schedule on the Internet, I just don’t remember how to do it.\u00a0 Besides, there aren’t any animals in those problems and everyone knows that animals are the Pi <\/strong>in any equation.<\/p>\n

But despite overwhelming odds and an inability to remember 5th grade math, I actually solved this dilemma.\u00a0 I did it!\u00a0 I really did it!\u00a0 Are you ready for it?\u00a0 Really?\u00a0 Here it is:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

I rolled 2 bales into the barn.\u00a0 I attached a section of cattle panel (that I had laying around) to some field fencing (that I had laying around) and wrapped it around the bales so the goats can only pull off mouth-sized bites.\u00a0 Then I covered the section of bale that extends out from under the roof with an old truck bed liner (that I had laying around).\u00a0 It’s all strung together with leftover baling twine (that I had laying around).\u00a0 Between the fencing and bed liner it is unappealing to climb on.\u00a0 And even if critters mange to get up there, any droppings will run right off in the grooves of the bed liner.\u00a0 Just like the rain.\u00a0 If it was anymore clever I’d get a patent.\u00a0 Although I’m not sure if you can patent Things-That-You-Have-Laying-Around.<\/p>\n

Of course, I have to give credit where credit is due.\u00a0 The Other Half was in charge of pick up, delivery, most of the rolling up hill, stretching of the field fencing, and lifting of the bed liner.\u00a0 Which makes it seem like all I did was watch.\u00a0 However, I did clear any dangerous objects out of the way and cut pieces of baling twine for tying everything together.\u00a0 Just imagine how wrong things could have gone if I wasn’t in charge of that.\u00a0 I mean, really.<\/p>\n

Also, the inspiration for using the bed liner came from the husband of a friend of mine.\u00a0 He was over dropping off a generator when he asked me why I had a truck bed liner on my front lawn.\u00a0 So http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?page_id=296I explained that no one on craigslist wanted to pay $50 for it but I wasn’t sick enough of looking at it yet to post it on freecycle.\u00a0 “It’s\u00a0 a shame,” he said, “Sure would make a good roof for a poultry pen.”<\/p>\n

Now you might not take such a comment seriously.\u00a0 But Aforementioned Husband is quite an expert at ergonomic reuse<\/a>.\u00a0 As a matter of fact, he is a specialist in items being repaired, reused, or repurposed.\u00a0 He has given me wooden boxes and crates for next boxes, dog houses, and flooring.\u00a0 He has told me where to find old windows and doors for our home addition and pre-built side panels for barns.\u00a0 When Aformentioned Husband speaks, I listen.\u00a0 So when I was pondering what could keep the rain and weather off the second round bale sticking out from under the eaves, his words immediately popped into my head.\u00a0 Not for keeping poultry safe and dry maybe, but perfect for protecting hay.\u00a0 Aforementioned Husband might just be an ergonomic reuse prophet.\u00a0 (But don’t tell his wife I said so—she has to live with him and I still want me and her to be friends.)<\/p>\n

So, in the end, I triumphed over the trouble with round bales.\u00a0 Goats, chickens, and livestock guardians can eat my dust.\u00a0 I win!\u00a0 At least for today.\u00a0 Tomorrow I’ll have to address this:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Calico Jack is still getting out of the buck pen.\u00a0 He spends his days lounging on the roof of his barn instead under it like good goat.\u00a0 Despite additional fencing, pallets, and wires.\u00a0 Despite breaking his leg last month during an escape.\u00a0 Despite the fact that he still can’t access the females if he gets out (thank goodness!).\u00a0 I guess I”ll deal with him tomorrow.<\/p>\n

I hope it goes well.\u00a0 But I won’t lose sleep over it if he’s out again by the weekend.\u00a0 After all,\u00a0 I’d bet money that the person who invented the saying, “You cant win ’em all” was a farmer.\u00a0 Had to be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Round bales of hay are very convenient.\u00a0 And wasteful.\u00a0 Perhaps they are fine for cows and horses.\u00a0 But goats tear huge long strips off the roll.\u00a0 They eat two mouthfuls of the strip and then trample the rest of it around the barn.\u00a0 So eventually I have to haul away huge loads of nasty hay […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[8,18,53],"class_list":["post-1489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-chickens","tag-goats","tag-hay"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1489"}],"version-history":[{"count":40,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1489\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1528,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1489\/revisions\/1528"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}