{"id":2084,"date":"2011-04-25T16:22:24","date_gmt":"2011-04-25T23:22:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?p=2084"},"modified":"2011-10-15T12:23:20","modified_gmt":"2011-10-15T19:23:20","slug":"a-royal-decree","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?p=2084","title":{"rendered":"A Royal Decree."},"content":{"rendered":"

Hear ye, hear ye!<\/p>\n

The Royal couple, Queen Brianna and King Merlin, are proud to announce the Princess Magenta has given birth!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

As befitting her royal background, she gave birth a full week earlier than expected and determined by the goat gestational calendar.\u00a0 The Princess will do as she sees fit, when she sees fit.<\/p>\n

Also, as a member of the ruling class, she chose a day when the farmer was working a 24 hour shift.\u00a0 Privacy from the commoners, please!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The Queen remarked upon her daughter’s stoicism and determination during the labor process.\u00a0 The King did not remark at all as he was too busy eyeing the ladies-in-waiting, standing at the gate to the buck pen in full blown heat.<\/p>\n

Princess Magenta displayed her true blue blood by producing 2 does and a buck—an amazing accomplishment for a first freshener in both numbers and gender.\u00a0 The buck is large and boisterous, according to the Princess.\u00a0 Troublesome, according to the farmer, who had to clean up all the spilled grain, minerals, and diatomaceous earth when he squeezed into the feed room on his second day of life and tipped over everything is sight.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Both does are petite and genteel as suited to their position in life.\u00a0 One is an exact replica of the Princess and one is the most beautiful spotted white that has been born in the kingdom of Woodland Pond.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

When the other farm animals were asked for their opinion of the new arrivals, some commented on the vigor and attractiveness of the triplets.\u00a0 But most complained about the Princess and her brood taking over the kidding barn, a favorite lounging place during the heat of the afternoon, and being provided with free access food while they were left to starve off what they could forage for in the woods.\u00a0 Ah, the ignorance and ingratitude of the servant classes.<\/p>\n

The Prince, Calico Jack, had no comment on his heirs as he was too busy eyeing the ladies-in-waiting, standing at the gate to the buck pen in full blown heat.\u00a0 Welcome to life in the feudal system.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hear ye, hear ye! The Royal couple, Queen Brianna and King Merlin, are proud to announce the Princess Magenta has given birth!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[145,116,32],"class_list":["post-2084","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-gotas","tag-kidding","tag-kids"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2084","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2084"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2084\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3034,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2084\/revisions\/3034"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2084"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2084"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2084"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}