{"id":3305,"date":"2011-12-27T06:21:32","date_gmt":"2011-12-27T13:21:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?p=3305"},"modified":"2011-12-27T12:31:41","modified_gmt":"2011-12-27T19:31:41","slug":"twas-the-day-after-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?p=3305","title":{"rendered":"‘Twas The Day After Christmas."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>‘Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house,<\/p>\n

there was no room to walk, not even for a mouse.<\/p>\n

Empty stockings were thrown all over the floor,<\/p>\n

torn open toy boxes, stacked by the door.<\/p>\n

The children were nestled in piles of trifles—<\/p>\n

basketballs, roller blades, new Nerf rifles.<\/p>\n

Wearing pajamas, instead of their clothes,<\/p>\n

they were all settled in for a TV-induced doze.<\/p>\n

When up from the table, I arose with my coffee cup,<\/p>\n

“Hey guys, it’s time to clean all this up.”<\/p>\n

The children sighed heavily, the dogs perked their ears,<\/p>\n

but nobody moved, those insolent dears.<\/p>\n

I moved to the window, pointed out at the sun,<\/p>\n

“Look, look, a beautiful day, everyone!<\/p>\n

How can you lay around in this way?<\/p>\n

Get up!\u00a0 Get dressed!\u00a0 Go out and play!”<\/p>\n

When, what to my despairing ears should they declare,<\/p>\n

“Fine.\u00a0 We’ll play Wii”, and they headed upstairs.<\/p>\n

But I moved to the staircase, lively and quick,<\/p>\n

shaking my finger and beginning my motherly schtick.<\/p>\n

More rapid then eagles, my familiar words came,<\/p>\n

I whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.<\/p>\n

“Now Big, Pretty, Middle, Little—all of you!<\/p>\n

You go play outside or I’ll find something else for you to do!<\/p>\n

Sweep up this dog hair!\u00a0 Put those dishes in the sink!<\/p>\n

Wipe the counters, get the vacuum, hmmm, let me think…”<\/p>\n

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,<\/p>\n

those kids were dressed and outside in the blink of an eye.<\/p>\n

To the backyard, to the swing set, to the front pasture, they flew,<\/p>\n

with arms full of RC helicopters, baseball bats, and Nerf bullets, too.<\/p>\n

And then, in a moment, I heard that sweet sound.<\/p>\n

Oh, what peace in the house, when silence abounds.<\/p>\n

I gave a soft sigh and was turning around,<\/p>\n

when the Other Half suddenly came down.<\/p>\n

He was dressed all in camo, from his head to his feet,<\/p>\n

his face smudged with makeup, smelling like fox pee.<\/p>\n

A bundle of weapons he held in his hand,<\/p>\n

and over his shoulder, his favorite deer stand.<\/p>\n

His eyes how they twinkled–his dimples how merry!<\/p>\n

His cheeks done in Moss Oak, he didn’t plan to tarry.<\/p>\n

“Mind if I go hunting?” spoke the camouflaged elf,<\/p>\n

and I laughed right out loud, in spite of myself.<\/p>\n

The kids out to play? The Other Half in woods?<\/p>\n

Oh, this year I must have been very good.<\/p>\n

For my Christmas present is having the house to myself,<\/p>\n

a fresh pot of coffee, 4 new library books on my shelf.<\/p>\n

And when I’m done reading and feel like picking this place up,<\/p>\n

I can do it without anyone under my feet, not a child, man, or pup.<\/p>\n

I can even listen to music other than Christmas fa-la-la,<\/p>\n

for the radio stations are back to playing Aerosmith and Lady Gaga.<\/p>\n

I exclaimed to myself, as my family headed out of sight,<\/p>\n

“Does this mean I can take the tree down tonight?!” \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Merry Post-Christmas and Best Wishes for getting the boxes and papers to the recycling center and the new toys to the kids’ rooms!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

‘Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house, there was no room to walk, not even for a mouse. Empty stockings were thrown all over the floor, torn open toy boxes, stacked by the door. The children were nestled in piles of trifles— basketballs, roller blades, new Nerf rifles. Wearing pajamas, instead of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3305","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3305","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3305"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3305\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3323,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3305\/revisions\/3323"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3305"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3305"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3305"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}