{"id":3537,"date":"2012-01-23T16:38:02","date_gmt":"2012-01-23T23:38:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?p=3537"},"modified":"2012-01-23T19:38:17","modified_gmt":"2012-01-24T02:38:17","slug":"loose-ends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?p=3537","title":{"rendered":"Loose Ends."},"content":{"rendered":"

Big projects are overrated.\u00a0 Sure, they lead to impressive results.\u00a0 Who doesn’t like water and electricity run out to the barn?\u00a0 A landscaped pond with a waterfall in the backyard? New kitchen cabinets and an island with bar seating? (Those are just random examples.\u00a0 I’m not saying that I want those thing.\u00a0 Or need them.\u00a0 Or drool over them in magazines.\u00a0 Totally random.) But big projects are expensive.\u00a0 And time consuming.\u00a0 And usually entail long periods of silence when the only communication between me and the Other Half involves giving each other the evil eye.<\/p>\n

On occasion it’s better to spend the day tying up loose ends around the house and barn.\u00a0 You know, getting the little things done that tend to pile up.\u00a0 It’s so rewarding to start and finish a simple chore.\u00a0 Check off a number of tasks that have been lingering in the back of your mind. Such a sense of accomplishment.\u00a0 Completion.\u00a0 Closure.<\/p>\n

Well, kind of.<\/p>\n

Because it actually goes something like this:<\/p>\n

I started out yesterday by pulling all the sheets and linens off the beds.\u00a0 Ah, won’t it be wonderful to have clean sheets by bedtime?!\u00a0 A day laboring at home is a perfect time to do laundry.\u00a0 It means you’ll actually be around to switch the loads instead of forgetting you started the wash and finding it smelling like mold 2 days later.\u00a0 And these new high efficiency washer and dryers are really hard to predict.\u00a0 Just because the washer displays a 2 in the viewing window doesn’t mean it will be done in 2 minutes.\u00a0 The 2 means it will be a full 14 minutes before the wash is done if you are waiting desperately for it to finish so you can throw your work clothes in the dryer and climb, exhausted, into bed for the night.\u00a0 The 2 means it will be done in 22 seconds if you decide you’ll be late getting the kids to school if you wait to switch loads, throw up your hands in disgust, and dash off, leaving it sit wrinkled and soggy for the rest of the day.\u00a0 Yep, that joker will be done as soon as you close your car door and drive off, cursing.\u00a0 There’s no telling.\u00a0 I’m really not sure what unit of time is displayed in that window.\u00a0 But it reminds of those “Push button to cross” devices at intersections.\u00a0 You don’t really believe you’re controlling the traffic signal, do you?\u00a0 Ha ha ha ha.\u00a0 Mechanical engineers are sooo funny.<\/p>\n

At least the dryer works well.\u00a0 It has a wonderful sensor that saves energy by turning off the dryer when the clothes are dry, regardless of what you (an obvious idiot unable to determine proper dryer setting on your own) set it for.\u00a0 Of course, “dry” is a relative term.\u00a0 In this case, it means “warm”, as in the dryer turns itself off when it senses the clothes are warm.\u00a0 It doesn’t care that a warm bundle of laundry only seems dry.\u00a0 As soon as it cools, you’ll discover the clothes are damp.\u00a0 As damp as if you’ve had a refreshing morning walk along a misty beach, being splashed by frothy waves breaking over scenic boulders.\u00a0 Minus the refreshing walk, beach, and waves.\u00a0 All you get is the damp part.\u00a0 Which is better than the times the dryer senses the laundry is dry and turns itself off, leaving a nice dry ball of clothing.\u00a0 A dry ball that has a soaking wet core that you discover as soon as you plop it on the couch and begin pulling it apart.\u00a0 Oh well. What can you expect from a group of people who barely make minimum wage.\u00a0 Mechanical engineers only make minimum wage, right?\u00a0 Right?<\/p>\n

Anyway.<\/p>\n

It felt good to get started on the sheets.\u00a0 And the beginning of what was sure to be a productive day.<\/p>\n

Wash and dry sheets and linens. <\/strong>\u221a<\/strong><\/p>\n

Although, it was a bit shocking and depressing when I passed the boys’ bathroom and saw this:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Note to self:<\/strong> Beat <\/span>Scream tyrannically at the boys when they get home from school for allowing their dirty laundry to pile up.\u00a0 Really, boys are so disgusting.\u00a0 Pretty would never…AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Note to self:<\/strong> Beat<\/span> Scream tyrannically at the girl when she gets home from school, too.<\/p>\n

Since I was off to an encouraging start, I moved on to the pile of newspapers on the counter.\u00a0 Time to clip and organize the coupons my dad was kind enough to collect for me.\u00a0 This was a perfect morning project as it could be completed while watching the morning news shows. As all the annoying<\/span> unrealistic<\/span> writers with nannies<\/span> good parenting books point out, being a mom is not an excuse for shutting yourself off from the rest of the world.\u00a0 It’s important to stay up to date on current events.\u00a0 After all, if you don’t know where thousands of people are dying from war or starvation and Newt Gingrich’s stance on open<\/span> gay marriage, what will you talk about with your friends?\u00a0 The PTA fundraiser?\u00a0 The weather?\u00a0 Booooooring.<\/p>\n

Soon I had lovely organized stacks of food savings.\u00a0 Which, combined with my recipe books and what I knew was ready for harvest in the garden, was then translated into a monthly meal plan.\u00a0 I think they’re really going to enjoy tuna casserole served with sweet and sour cabbage. Hmmm….might have to be a dessert night.\u00a0 Good thing I can buy brownie mix for $.22!!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Clip coupons and make meal plan.\u00a0 \u221a<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>Unfortunately, while I was looking up a printable coupon for Chicken of the Sea, my email popped up to remind me I only had 24 hours left to order 99 photos for $.99 from snapfish.<\/p>\n

Note to self: <\/strong>Order photos from summer of 2009.\u00a0 Being two years behind on scrapbooking was fine.\u00a0 I mean, isn’t everybody?\u00a0 But now it’s 2012.\u00a0 Three years behind is disgraceful.\u00a0 P.S. <\/strong> Go heavy on ordering pics of Little.\u00a0 Sometimes he feels bad when he looks at the photo albums and discovers only 1 photo of his childhood for every 15 pictures of Big’s childhood.\u00a0 How did that happen?\u00a0 I swore that wouldn’t happen….<\/p>\n

I would’ve stayed inside and knocked out ordering pictures while I was sitting at the computer.\u00a0 But the morning news was over and The Doctors<\/a> was coming on.\u00a0 Politics and sex scandals, worldwide death and misery on the news is one thing.\u00a0 But it was time to get outside before the shows start talking about weight loss, exercise, and healthy living.\u00a0 I can’t handle that kind of crazy talk first thing in the morning.<\/p>\n

Luckily, there was plenty of work to do in the barn yard.\u00a0 I had already tried encouraging the chickens to lay their eggs in the nest boxes by filling them with fresh hay.\u00a0 That only had mixed results.\u00a0 But today I was sealing off their preferred, unreachable nesting place.<\/p>\n

Attach deer netting to base of round hay bales to keep chickens from burrowing into the back and laying their eggs. <\/strong>\u221a<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>And while I had my tools out, Papa Noel needed a roof repair for his outside digs.\u00a0 Last week’s rain revealed he had a leak in the apex of the roof which flooded his bedding.\u00a0 Since he didn’t have the proper flood insurance, he had to settle for a piece of roofing plastic tacked on with poultry staples, instead of a new house.\u00a0 Let that be a lesson to the underinsured.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Fix Papa Noel’s house and give him fresh straw. <\/strong>\u221a<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course, Magenta was due for her CD&T shot as she is expected to kid sometime between January 29th and February 4th (or whenever she feels like it, whichever comes first).\u00a0 She got some selenium gel and a Vitamin B shot for good luck.\u00a0 Josie got a Vitamin B shot, too, since I never want to go through this polioencephalomalacia scare<\/a> again.<\/p>\n

Give goats their shots. <\/strong> <\/strong>\u221a<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>Trying to find a loose fold of skin on a very inflated, pregnant Magenta to give a subcutaneous shot reminded me that I should get out my birthing supplies.<\/p>\n

Note to self:<\/strong> Prepare a fresh birthing kit with nasal aspirator, open syringes for Nutri drench, iodine, floss, and surgical scissors for umbilical cords, and arnica tablets.\u00a0 Don’t forget the birthing folder with horrifying pictures of breech presentations, prolapsed uterus, uterine rupture and other things so that when you think something bad is happening you can figure out how terribly bad it actually is.\u00a0 Before you go into the corner of the kidding barn to hyperventilate and vomit.<\/p>\n

As I traipsed around the farm I discovered a few more things that needed attention.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Note to self: <\/strong>The hose is leaking and needs to be fixed.\u00a0 Next time do not be fooled by this flashy advertising:<\/p>\n

\"Stretch,<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Rescue Tape is the Ultimate Multi-Purpose Self-Fusing Repair Tape!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rescue Tape . . .<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2022 Is Self-Fusing!
\n\u2022 Incredible 950 PSI Tensile Strength!
\n\u2022 Insulates 8,000 Volts per layer!
\n\u2022 Withstands 500\u00b0 F Degrees of heat!
\n\u2022 Remains flexible to -85\u00b0 F! (-60\u00b0 C)<\/p>\n

Rescue Tape . . .<\/td>\n

\"Rescue<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

It is all lies.\u00a0 I don’t know what PSI tensile strength is but apparently the water pressure exerted from a regular outdoor spigot, traveling uphill over 50 feet, and divided among 4 different hoses, exceeds 950 PSI. ‘Cause that sucker starts spraying as soon as you turn on the water flow.<\/p>\n

Speaking of hoses, I needed to add water to the straw bales I am marinating in the greenhouse in preparation for planting hothouse tomatoes.\u00a0 In order for the straw to compost I’ve been adding a combination of nitrogen and water to the bales over a period of time.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Water straw bales in greenhouse. <\/strong>\u221a<\/strong><\/p>\n

Too bad that used up the last of my free nitrogen fertilizer.<\/p>\n

Note to self: <\/strong>Pick up some high nitrogen fertilizer next time I\u2019m at the feed mill.\u00a0 With the onset of rainy weather, I\u2019m not likely to get much more from around here.\u00a0 The boys are happy to contribute their natural nitrogen to the bucket when the weather is nice.\u00a0 But it\u2019s so much harder to get them to comply when they have to go outside in the rain to pee.\u00a0 And organic gardening has its limits\u2014I just won\u2019t keep a pee bucket in the house.\u00a0 You knew nitrogen is just urea, right?\u00a0 And urea is, well,\u2026never mind.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

In any case, the decomposition appears to be working well.\u00a0 There is a nice yeasty smell to the hay bales and the greenhouse is keeping warm even when the sun is in hiding.\u00a0 Which reminds me that as soon as the tomato seeds are growing in the hay bales, it\u2019ll be time to prepare seed trays for spring veggies and perennials.\u00a0 Which means something needs to be done about this:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Note to self: <\/strong>Apparently the wire shelving inside the greenhouse is not going to hang itself.\u00a0 Better ask the Other Half where the clips are that he ordered to put up the shelves.\u00a0 If that doesn\u2019t prompt him to hang them, ask him if I can borrow his sawhorses to hold up the shelves since I don\u2019t know where the clips are.\u00a0 If that doesn\u2019t prompt him to hang them, ask him where his circular saw is so that I can cut an old piece of fencing into pieces, and lay it across the sawhorses to use as shelves instead of the shelves that came with the greenhouse.\u00a0 If that doesn\u2019t work, find his circular saw, plug it in, and rev it up.\u00a0 That should bring him running.<\/p>\n

Oh, look.\u00a0 Another leaky hose.\u00a0 Awesome.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Note to self:<\/strong> Next time I\u2019m at Lowe\u2019s I should buy several hose mender kits.\u00a0 And post some negative reviews on the Rescue Tape website.\u00a0 \u201cSelf-fusing\u201d, my as*.<\/p>\n

By this time I felt the outside chores were in danger of undermining my faltering sense of achievement.\u00a0\u00a0 Plus, the washer was probably done with it’s nonsensical countdown of unknown units.\u00a0 So I went back inside.<\/p>\n

I sat down at the sewing machine, listened to my new Pistol Annies CD, and finally hemmed the 6 pairs of work pants that had been sitting on top of my dresser.<\/p>\n

Hem pants. <\/strong>\u221a<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>After I put away all my sewing equipment, I carried my newly hemmed pants up to my closet.\u00a0 As well as a load of fresh sheets and blankets to be put back on the upstairs beds.\u00a0 While I was wrestling fitted sheets onto Middle’s bed, I glimpsed at the aquarium.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Note to self:<\/strong> Aquarium needs some more water.<\/p>\n

So I went back downstairs to get a gallon of filtered water out of the pantry and set it next to the woodstove to warm up.\u00a0 While I was in the pantry, the light bulb went out.<\/p>\n

Note to self: <\/strong> Replace light bulb in pantry.<\/p>\n

Of course, we were out of light bulbs.\u00a0 I sank down into a chair in the den to decide if I had time to run to the store for $.22 brownies, hose menders, nitrogen fertilizer, and light bulbs before the kids got home from school. While sitting in the chair I noticed something else:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Note to self: <\/strong>Sew the magical rips in arms of the chair slipcover. “Magical” because they simply appeared one day and no child has ever been able to explain how.<\/p>\n

I closed my eyes, laid my head back on the chair, and pondered if I had a piece of scrap paper and pen upstairs or if I would have to walk all the way back downstairs to get some in order to convert my Notes to self:<\/strong> into an actual To Do list.\u00a0 You know, a list for another day when I needed a few small projects to work on.\u00a0 Some easy, inconsequential chores to give me a quick lift.\u00a0 Sense of accomplishment.\u00a0 Completion.\u00a0 Neverending frustration.<\/p>\n

The front door banged open, backpacks hit the floor, and Middle peered around the staircase.\u00a0 He spied me in the chair and shook his head, disgusted.<\/p>\n

“What do<\/strong> you do all day?”<\/p>\n

I almost told him that I set out to complete a few simple chores in search of a brief sense of fulfillment.<\/p>\n

I considered telling him that I ran in circles chasing my tail all day.<\/p>\n

But then I thought of a better answer.\u00a0 I opened one eye and squinted at him.<\/p>\n

“Well, I can tell you one thing I didn’t <\/strong>do,” I said.\u00a0 “I didn’t<\/strong> do your overflowing laundry.”<\/p>\n

Commence with tyrannical screaming. <\/strong> \u221a<\/strong><\/p>\n

Which didn’t leave anyone feeling completed.<\/p>\n

Thank goodness for Magenta.<\/p>\n

Sometime between the 5th load of laundry and when the light bulb in the pantry burned out, she gave birth to 3 healthy goat kids.\u00a0 All by herself.\u00a0 Without any help. Without any mishaps.\u00a0 She just pushed out 2 sturdy doelings and a teeny buckling, and then cleaned up all the mess.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Which, I bet, gave her quite a feeling of accomplishment.\u00a0 And knocked a couple things off my new To Do list.\u00a0 And gave everybody that warm fuzzy feeling that the first goat babies of the season always do.\u00a0 God Bless You, Magenta.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Big projects are overrated.\u00a0 Sure, they lead to impressive results.\u00a0 Who doesn’t like water and electricity run out to the barn?\u00a0 A landscaped pond with a waterfall in the backyard? New kitchen cabinets and an island with bar seating? (Those are just random examples.\u00a0 I’m not saying that I want those thing.\u00a0 Or need them.\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3537","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3537","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3537"}],"version-history":[{"count":67,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3537\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3616,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3537\/revisions\/3616"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3537"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3537"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3537"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}