This year, I called up a friend a few days before my birthday.<\/p>\n
“Hey,” I said, “Me and the kids are coming to town to see you and go to that safari place with you for my birthday.”<\/p>\n
“Cool,” she said, “You should stay here at my house.\u00a0 We’ll go to the museum, too.\u00a0 How about we grill some burgers for dinner when you get here?”<\/p>\n
“Well, alright”, I said, “Since it’s my birthday, we’d be happy to stay with you and burgers will be just fine.”<\/p>\n
See how that works.<\/p>\n
It also helps that we have been friends for 17 years.\u00a0 When you have been friends for 17 years, you can call up, invite yourself over, and spend the night without even batting an eye.\u00a0 17 years is nothing to sneeze at, people.<\/p>\n
And this particular friend is especially dear to me.\u00a0 She was always the first person to visit when I had a new baby.\u00a0 She breezed into town in her single girl Geo Metro with her single girl blonde highlights and single girl chihuahua named Hercules and carried my baby around as if he or she was the coolest baby in the whole world.\u00a0 And just for that afternoon, I was not an exhausted young mother of a newborn, wearing a spit-up stained nursing nightgown (at 3pm in the afternoon) but a courageous young woman on the cusp of another exciting adventure filled with trials and triumphs.\u00a0 Sometimes it just takes a good friend to offer the proper perspective.<\/p>\n
So now that she has her own children it was my turn to arrive with help in the form of an experienced Toddler Wrangler…<\/p>\n
…and a gentle Baby Holder…<\/p>\n …to offer a break from mommydom.\u00a0 Turns out she doesn’t lay around feeling depressed and looking pathetic when she has a baby as much as she goes to yoga, hosts preschool playdates, and still wears stylish jeans.\u00a0 I like to think that doesn’t mean I am a deplorable loser for the first 6 months after I give birth and she is a much more confident and capable mother than me.\u00a0 I prefer to think that I just have good taste in friends.\u00a0 That’s my perspective.<\/p>\n In any case, there is a great pleasure in laughing with an old friend over a glass of wine and burgers fresh off the grill.\u00a0 And an even more immense joy to do so while listening to the laughter of our children jumping in the bouncy house, romping in the playroom, and cooing over the baby.\u00a0 What greater triumph than a loving friendship passed down to the next generation?<\/p>\n And, of course, she still has the power to offer me a new perspective.\u00a0 Because as much as us country people like to pretend we wouldn’t live in a neighborhood, under the watchful eye of an HOA, even if it was the last place left on Earth, it was lovely to sit in her beautiful home overlooking the golf course.<\/p>\n No half finished projects in sight.\u00a0 No bare spots in the lawn where the dogs like to roll or mangled flowers in the front yard that have been deheaded by nibbling ducks.\u00a0 No mehing or clucking or neighing or oinking.\u00a0 Just the whisper of golf carts on the path, sweet birdsong from the lush trees, and a soft cooling mist from the surrounding water sprinklers.\u00a0 I could get used to that.\u00a0 I mean, if I had to.\u00a0 If it really was the last place left on Earth.<\/p>\n Also, visiting her reminded me how happy I am not to have these things scattered all over my house.<\/p>\n Plus, I discovered that although I barely liked my own children when they were young, I love my friend’s children.\u00a0 Her 4 year old was up and waiting for me when I came down for coffee in the morning.<\/p>\n I knew he wasn’t allowed to watch TV so as we cuddled on the couch, I perused the channels carefully.\u00a0 I knew morning news was off the table (war, murder, and presidential primaries are not for the newly inducted) but, since it was my birthday, I just couldn’t manage Clifford the Big Red Dog on PBS.\u00a0 We settled on videos on the country music channel.<\/p>\n “Do you listen to country music?”\u00a0 I asked.<\/p>\n “Yes,” he said.<\/p>\n “Oh, what’s your favorite song?”<\/p>\n He was quiet for a minute.\u00a0 He watched the video and then smiled at me.<\/p>\n “This one’s my favorite!”<\/p>\n Yep, that’s what I thought.\u00a0 Not much country music listening in this house.\u00a0 We watched the videos for a while as we waited for the sun to come up.\u00a0 While I got up to get a fresh cup of coffee, he sat chuckling over a GEICO commercial.<\/p>\n “I like the short shows the best!”\u00a0 he declared.<\/p>\n Isn’t that adorable?\u00a0 He thinks commercials are the “short shows.”\u00a0\u00a0 Maybe one day when he is a famous brain surgeon, my kids (who were probably awake upstairs but quietly sneaking in episodes of SpongeBob in the rec room) can come visit him in his beautiful home on a golf course.\u00a0 Although, as of right now, he told me hopes to grow up to be a tow truck driver.\u00a0 Which is handy, too.\u00a0 Whatever makes you happy, little man.<\/p>\n And despite the fact that I found it exhausting when my kids were babies and would cry, not because they were hungry or wet, but just because they wanted to be carried around, I found that quality amusing in my friend’s 5 month old.\u00a0 We all took turns hoisting him over our shoulder, patting his back, tickling his tummy, and trying to make him laugh.\u00a0 Little, in particular, enjoyed getting to be a Big for a change.\u00a0 Isn’t a change in perspective a wonderful thing?<\/p>\n All in all, it was an awesome visit.\u00a0 We fed some exotic animals…<\/p>\n …and fooled the kids into thinking an educational museum was just fun and games…<\/p>\n …and didn’t head for home until everyone was nice and tired.<\/p>\n We even hung out with Hercules.\u00a0 Who has put on a little weight since I last saw him.\u00a0 Happens to the best of us, buddy.<\/p>\n \n Basically, it was everything that a birthday should be.\u00a0 And now I am off to the beach with my friends.\u00a0 Because my birthday month isn’t over yet.\u00a0 So you can be sad and complain about getting older.\u00a0 Go ahead.\u00a0 From my perspective, that just leaves more cake for me. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n \n This post is dedicated to my friend, Tanya.\u00a0 She is proof that a good friend is the best gift you can get in life.\u00a0 On your birthday or any other day.\u00a0 We love you, Tanya!<\/em><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/130.jpg\")
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