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<\/a><\/p>\n….and I was hoping to find a frizzle or patridge Silkie for for sale in the poultry tent.<\/p>\n Too bad the school had to step all over my plans.\u00a0 As usual.\u00a0 The public school has given up on closing on the predictable federal holidays like Columbus Day and Presidents’ Day.\u00a0 I believe those holidays are now considered White Supremacist days and no self-respecting politically correct government institution would be caught dead recognizing them.\u00a0 Except for the banks and the post office.\u00a0 The banks can do it because they can get away with anything.\u00a0 They’re holding our money, people.\u00a0 And the post office gets away with it because no one wants those people going postal on us.\u00a0 Obviously.<\/p>\n The bonus to federal holidays is that they never sneak up on you.\u00a0 Even if you live without cable or satellite, like we do, you’ll know those holidays are approaching.\u00a0 Because even the local mornings news programming and the local radio stations are inundated with ads for UNBELIEVABLE SALES NO CREDIT CHECKS FREE CREDIT AVAILABLE at area furniture stores and car dealerships.\u00a0 Never mind the 30% OFF EVERYTHING IN THE STORE NOTHING HELD BACK EARLY BIRD SPECIALS FROM 9AM-NOON at the department stores and malls.\u00a0 Eventually, I’ll think to myself, “That’s the 5th time I’ve heard that ad for Columbus Day specials.\u00a0 I wonder if the schools are going to be closed.”\u00a0 And I’ll remember to check the calendar and avoid any alarming<\/span> unfortunate<\/span> interesting mishaps that may trigger an uncomfortable phone call.<\/p>\n Like the call The Other Half and I got as we were pulling out of the movie theater one afternoon.<\/p>\n “Shift work is so great!”, I claimed as we left the parking lot.\u00a0 “We get to have a lunch date and see a matinee movie without even paying a babysitter or being too tired to get up the next morning!\u00a0 Plus, we still have 35 minutes before the kids get off the school bus!\u00a0 And they’ll be thrilled when they see we refilled the popcorn bucket for them as an after school snack.”\u00a0 It’s such a good feeling when you manage to combine something that works for you and also works for your kids.\u00a0 It’s also a fleeting feeling.<\/p>\n Because then my cell phone rang.\u00a0 It was our home number.\u00a0 Calling us 35 minutes before the school bus normally gets there.<\/p>\n “Where are you?”\u00a0 demanded Middle when I answered.<\/p>\n “We’re on our way home.\u00a0 Is something wrong?\u00a0 Why was the bus so early?”<\/p>\n “Mom.\u00a0\u00a0 We had an early release day.\u00a0 We’ve been home for over 2 hours.\u00a0 We’re hungry.”<\/p>\n “Yes, I know,”\u00a0 I said, after a pause.\u00a0 “But daddy and I drove all the way to the city just to get you some movie popcorn for a treat.\u00a0 We got stuck in a little traffic and we’ll be home soon.\u00a0 Jeez.\u00a0 Show a little appreciation.”<\/p>\n I’m quick on my feet like that.\u00a0 It s a parental job requirement.\u00a0 Especially if you’re the kind of parent that can’t keep track of the school’s random system of days off.\u00a0 Because now they schedule Teacher Work Days randomly throughout the calendar without rhyme or reason.\u00a0 And if that wasn’t arbitrary enough, they are sometimes closed for an entire day and sometimes just an Early Release Day.\u00a0 Oh, it’s not that they don’t give any notice for these days.\u00a0 I get an annual school calendar at the beginning of the school year.\u00a0 And I promptly transfer all the Teacher Work Days and Early Release Days to the family calendar.\u00a0 And then I don’t think about them again until I stumble out of bed, make a cup of coffee, and check the daily calendar to see what’s up for the day.\u00a0 That’s when I realize things have gone horribly unplanned and either I wasted one of the few mornings I could have slept in or my parents are about to get a frantic phone call asking them if they can keep the kids for the day so I can go to work.<\/p>\n I suppose I could check the calendar for a few days ahead.\u00a0 If I didn’t go through 4 pregnancies that depleted most of my brain cells making me unable to remember things more than 1 day out.\u00a0 Or if I didn’t live a life so full of children, animals, and property issues that a slow day only involves the pediatrician, the vet, OR the appliance repairman.\u00a0 Instead of 2 or more of them together at the same time.<\/p>\n So I was surprised when the kids confronted me about my fair plans.<\/p>\n “Why can’t we just go with you to the fair on the 1\/2 day?” they asked.<\/p>\n “What 1\/2 day?\u00a0 There’s a 1\/2 day coming up?\u00a0 You just finished a 3 week break and have only been back in class for 1 week.\u00a0 How can there be a 1\/2 day?????”<\/p>\n “Mom.\u00a0 There was a note in the class newsletter.\u00a0 And the principal mentioned it on the automated alert phone message.”<\/p>\n “There’s a MILLION notes in the newsletter.\u00a0 And those notes are never prioritized.\u00a0 The thank you to the mom who sent in markers is right there with the list of spelling words and information about cases of head lice.\u00a0 And there are 4 class newsletters to be reviewed.\u00a0 Shouldn’t the important stuff be in bold?\u00a0 There are 2 separate principals and those jokers call here with an automated message 3 or 4 times a week about fund raisers and school board meetings and sports physicals.\u00a0 Shouldn’t there at least be an alarm tone played before something important like an Early Release Day announcement?\u00a0 Honestly, if I knew they were going to change the rules so much from when my mom had school age kids until you guys were born I would have rethought the whole thing!!!\u00a0 No one thought teacher enrichment was necessary enough to close the schools back then!\u00a0 Public school was just free day care and everybody was fine with that!”<\/p>\n “Right.\u00a0 So why can’t we go to the fair with you on the 1\/2 day?”<\/p>\n That’s the problem with complaining.\u00a0 It just leaves you right back where you started.\u00a0 With the addition of a couple of burst blood vessels in your eyes.<\/p>\n I sighed.<\/p>\n “All right.\u00a0 Is the 1\/2 day the same as Canned Food Day?”<\/p>\n “Nope.\u00a0 The 1\/2 day is the day before the Canned Food Day.”<\/p>\n Of freaking course. It would be way too convenient for the teachers to be enriched on the same day that you can get into the fair for a can of peas and carrots.<\/p>\n Sometimes there’s nothing to do but pretend you never had a quiet, cheap, and relaxing fair day planned, pull up your mommy panties, and start planning a child-filled, cooler-hauling, ride-ticket-buying fair adventure.<\/p>\n “I’m still buying some chickens,”\u00a0 I muttered as I googled where to buy discounted fair admission and ride tickets.\u00a0 “And you guys are walking through the garden center and taking turns carrying the cooler with drinks and snacks.\u00a0 Plus, only 1 ride, 1 treat per kid, and no carnival games!”\u00a0 I have found that it’s important to lower their expectations quickly.\u00a0 Before they start concocting dreams of all-you-ride bracelets and Volkswagon-beetle-sized stuffed animals.<\/p>\n But if the fair prices are inflated, at least they deliver on their slogans.\u00a0 It was<\/strong> “A Bumper Crop of Fun!”\u00a0 I teamed up with a friend and her kids.\u00a0 Because we figured it would be harder for the kids to wear us down if we held our ground on the one-ride-per-kid rule together.\u00a0 And because she has a chicken-eating dog, too, and also needed to add to her flock from the poultry tent.\u00a0 Sometimes it’s weird the things I have in common with my friends.\u00a0 Comforting, but weird.<\/p>\n And even with our cheaper early bird tickets and her military discount, we did make a lot of memories.<\/p>\n We saw lots of animals, including those we have….<\/p>\n ….and those we need.\u00a0 “Need” being a relative term.<\/p>\n Some we admire but can’t possibly accommodate on our farm….<\/p>\n ….and some with so many cute babies that you can’t help but feel sorry for them and want to whisk them away for a Calgon bath and a glass of wine.<\/p>\n There were magicians….<\/p>\n ….and jugglers….<\/p>\n ….and decorated archways….<\/p>\n ….that turned into decorated people.<\/p>\n I forced the kids through the garden areas where we saw garden projects to copy….<\/p>\n ….and fanciful landscapes to enjoy.<\/p>\n Although I’m not exactly sure why someone would construct a peaceful display like this one….<\/p>\n ….right next to a large metal bell for kids to clang at will.\u00a0 Which some of the kids did.\u00a0 Endlessly.\u00a0 Until I finally looked up and realized it was my kids and forced them away.<\/p>\n I did actually find a plant to add to my landscape.\u00a0 It was nice bushy plant with interesting foliage and purple tipped blooms.\u00a0 Oh, and those aren’t prison tattoos on the arm of Pretty’s friend.\u00a0 My Lost Child At The Fair Plan involves placing my cell phone in permanent marker on all the kids’ forearms.\u00a0 The kids are then instructed that if they get lost or separated they are to locate a mother with children and a stroller and ask her to call me so we can all get back together.\u00a0 I figure that’s faster than the fair’s child relocation tent.\u00a0 Also, doesn’t involve loud speakers or state and law enforcement officials wondering about my supervisory abilities.\u00a0 Another mother knows better than to judge.<\/p>\n Of course, we eventually made it to the rides.\u00a0 Where even more memories were made.<\/p>\n Big almost didn’t get to ride the Zipper, which he had talked about all the way to the fair.\u00a0 No one would ride it with him and they don’t allow single riders.\u00a0 He refused to pair up with another group of boys in line and, of course, he wasn’t going to ride with his mommy (who didn’t want to do it anyway).\u00a0 Luckily, an attractive young woman in her early\u00a0 twenties, as well as a halter top and skin tight jeans, overheard our conversation and approached us.\u00a0 She asked Big if he would ride with her because she, too, had been wanting to ride the Zipper but didn’t have a partner to ride with.\u00a0 He immediately agreed.\u00a0 Ah, the first time your son does something just because a pretty girl asked him to.\u00a0 You don’t get that moment back, people.<\/p>\n Middle and some of the girls took on the Sky Diver–a frightening ferris wheel with cars that turned upside down.<\/p>\n I believe Pretty is illustrating the concept of “holding on for dear life” in this picture.<\/p>\n The Cliff Hanger seemed a little more enjoyable.<\/p>\n Plus, the man running the ride noticed one of the girls’ Iraq shirt and asked if her father had served.\u00a0 When she told him yes, he told her to thank her dad for his service and gave her rides tickets back to her.\u00a0 The kids talked about that all the way home.\u00a0 Because small kindnesses in life stand out in a big way.<\/p>\n The littlest ones among us both shed some tears when they were turned away by some of the rides.\u00a0 Even with their baseball caps they weren’t quite tall enough for some of the rides they wanted to ride on.\u00a0 But then they decided to ride The Pirate by themselves.\u00a0 It was their first big kid ride, accomplished without a sibling or a parent to hold their hands.\u00a0 They looked so tiny on that huge boat…<\/p>\n ….with an entire bench to themselves.\u00a0 Not an adult in sight.<\/p>\n And although they survived, it may have been more than Little bargained for.<\/p>\n As it turned out, we had enough tickets for all the kids to ride 2 rides each.\u00a0 So, us moms came out looking like rock stars.\u00a0 Which is rare enough to make it a memorable occasion.\u00a0 Besides, it wouldn’t be the fair without a ride on the Bobsleds.<\/p>\n And Big got another chance to pursue the fast and furious on the Midway.<\/p>\n One of the kids even managed to snag an opportunity at one of the carnival games.\u00a0 My friend finally gave in just to prove to him what a scam it was—-how his money would be wasted and he’d have nothing to show for it.\u00a0 Of course, he promptly won a large stuffed animal.<\/p>\n Which made me laugh.\u00a0 A lot.\u00a0 Because, for once, it was someone else’s attempt to teach a lesson that failed instead of mine.\u00a0 Like I said before, it’s comforting the things we have in common.<\/p>\n To end the day, we got some fair food favorites.\u00a0 There were the fans of funnel cake….<\/p>\n ….the cotton candy connoisseurs….<\/p>\n …and the enthusiasts of soft serve ice cream.<\/p>\n Who needs fried Twinkies when you’ve got the good ol’ favorites?<\/p>\n With all the photo ops during the day, those for boys….<\/p>\n ….and girls….<\/p>\n ….and friends, we’re going to need a scrapbook for all our fair memories.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n