{"id":6688,"date":"2012-11-14T08:57:12","date_gmt":"2012-11-14T15:57:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?p=6688"},"modified":"2012-11-16T05:59:21","modified_gmt":"2012-11-16T12:59:21","slug":"a-tale-of-two-cities-plus-the-country","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/?p=6688","title":{"rendered":"A Tale of Two Cities (Plus the Country)."},"content":{"rendered":"

Sometimes the party never ends.\u00a0 Or at least it doesn’t end until the kids are so exhausted that they put themselves to bed and the adults are too exhausted to care if the kids brushed their teeth or not.\u00a0 As a matter of fact, the adults are so tired that they just open a new toothbrush out of the upstairs toothbrush stash rather than make one more trip down the stairs to get a toothbrush out of the luggage that they meant to carry up but didn’t.\u00a0 That’s tired, people.<\/p>\n

What’s even more impressive is the fact that this party practically spanned the entire globe.\u00a0 Or at least most of the state.\u00a0 Well, three areas of the state.\u00a0 Definitely 150 mile radius.\u00a0 We almost had to make arrangements for farm sitting.\u00a0 Which means we were almost too far away and too busy partying to make it home for the milking.\u00a0 That’s a party, people.<\/p>\n

We started partying where the party started many years ago.\u00a0 The little college city where we first became friends.\u00a0 You’ve met my friend, T before<\/a>.\u00a0 This time she drove into the city for Homecoming and staked a place at the local brewery where she and I watched many, many college games together.\u00a0 Also where The Other Half and I had our first date.\u00a0 She actually commandeered the party room where The Other Half and I hosted our rehearsal dinner.\u00a0 She did this by turning her 4 year old loose in the room and letting him burn off steam by racing back and forth from wall to wall.\u00a0 Then she let the baby throw half-chewed chips all over the floor.\u00a0 By the time I arrived the waitress had closed the privacy doors (apparently, there was a baby-almost-falling-down-the-staircase-into-the-downstairs-bar-area incident) and conceded the party room without even suggesting an extra fee.\u00a0 When I appeared at the hostess stand and said I had a friend waiting for me, they eyeballed my 4 kids (still fighting over who got to put the money in the parking meter) and knew immediately where I was supposed to be.<\/p>\n

“Excellent work,” I told T as I strolled in and admired the expansive room, carpeted floor, and large screen television broadcasting the game.\u00a0 We may not be 20 years old anymore, but we can still take over a room when we enter it.\u00a0 We just use different methods.\u00a0 Changing your game is the solution to growing old gracefully, people.<\/p>\n

“We’re going to need more chips, a bunch of pizzas, and some more pale ale,” I told the waitress as my older kids started to pull out chairs and the younger ones joined in the foot races.\u00a0 Then we settled in to catch up.<\/p>\n

Catching up is a sacred ritual.\u00a0 It involves rehashing everything that has happened since you saw each other last, reminiscing about your past adventures, and planning your future rendezvous.\u00a0 Plus, on this occasion, it involved sympathizing over our other friend, K, who was actually at the football game with her 2 kids and 6 month old baby.\u00a0 In the stands with a 6 month old baby.\u00a0 Gag.<\/p>\n

She did have her husband and her extended family with her.\u00a0 Which is worth something.\u00a0 But it’s not sprawled in the party room, sipping pale ale and eating pizza, with a bathroom right down the hallway, and older kids to escort the younger kids to the bathroom no matter how many times they needed to go.\u00a0 So inbetween pints, we shook our heads sadly on her behalf.\u00a0 “Poor K,” we murmured.\u00a0 And then we laughed, threw some more chips on the floor for the baby, and ordered another pizza.<\/p>\n

When the game was almost over, we headed for the local kids museum to meet up with K and her crew.\u00a0 Breweries are fun for kids, but building blocks at the kids museum are probably more appropriate fun.\u00a0 The kids got right into construction mode when we got there.<\/p>\n

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And when K finally made it out of the stands, through the crowds, and across campus to the kids museum we got to catch up with her, too.\u00a0 We took a quick picture with all 3 of us and our “babies”.\u00a0 Please note that one of us started and finished having her kids a lot earlier than the others.\u00a0 One of the ladies in this picture will not <\/strong>be getting up during the night with an infant when she is in her 40’s.\u00a0 Ha, ha.\u00a0 I win.<\/p>\n

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It was good to see K’s husband, too.\u00a0 The 3 of us are used to traveling without our husbands as their careers are not always family friendly and K’s military husband has been deployed on and off for their entire marriage.\u00a0 But on this occasion they had just recently moved closer than they’ve been to us in years and he just settled into a new job at the Capitol.\u00a0 I was impressed that he managed to get away.\u00a0 Although if you’ve been following the national news, if you are career military and working in DC, it was a good weekend to get away.\u00a0 I’m just sayin’.<\/p>\n

Eventually he decided to go get a cup of coffee while we sat chatting about nursing and potty training and children’s heights in the 90th percentile.\u00a0 I mean, he tried to relate to us a few times—he started talking about the disappointing 2 point win over our team in the game. I smiled politely and blinked at him.\u00a0 At no point during the game was I concerned about the score.\u00a0 I mean, it’s homecoming whether we win or not, right?\u00a0 Later, he told us about his hope to do an open ocean swim in Hawaii.\u00a0 I have nothing to say to that.\u00a0 I cannot relate to extreme exercise of any kind.\u00a0 Especially one that involves sharks and\/or jelly fish.\u00a0 But I think we got along pretty well considering that the last time I saw him he and K were just announcing their engagement.\u00a0 And we all met up at a fancy restaurant where we had drinks at the bar while waiting an hour for our table.\u00a0 Too bad we didn’t know that trick about throwing crackers around or having toddler races to immediately get a table in the back room back then.\u00a0 Eh.\u00a0 Live and learn, people, live and learn.<\/p>\n

After we closed down the kids museum, we added more money to our meters, and headed out for coffee and ice cream.\u00a0 My kids find city ways to be fascinating.\u00a0 For them paying to park, pushing the pedestrian buttons at crosswalks, staying out of the way of the buses (those suckers run someone down at least once a month), and enjoying the hippie street musicians while avoiding the homeless asking for beer money is like a big party game.\u00a0 Throw in the drunk college kids stumbling around, the half-dressed sorority girls, and the offensive lyrics blaring from car stereos at stoplights and it’s like an R rated movie coming to life.\u00a0 And they know I don’t have enough hands to cover all their eyes and ears at once.\u00a0 At least one of them is going to get to see a keg stand before we make it home.\u00a0 Especially since the kids museum is in a strip mall that shares a parking lot with one of the dormitories.\u00a0 What is <\/em><\/strong>it that city planners do?\u00a0 Apparently it doesn’t involve planning to put the kids museum as far away from the dormitory parking lots filled with drunken tailgaters as possible.\u00a0 Go figure.<\/p>\n

Once the game traffic cleared out, K and her husband left to meet some friends for a nice dinner, and T headed back to our house in the country with us where the only things stumbling into the road were the deer.\u00a0 In the country we have to rely on simple things for entertainment.\u00a0 Luckily, The Other Half returned from the woods in time to provide some comic relief.<\/p>\n

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As well as a dress up opportunity.<\/p>\n

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And playing with the baby laugh was good for quite a while, too.\u00a0 He has a great high five.<\/p>\n

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And an infectious laugh.\u00a0 Which I don’t really know how to insert into this post.\u00a0 So a video clip will have to do.<\/p>\n

baby<\/a><\/p>\n

Just when we were getting bored, The Other Half rushed inside and said, “Guess what?\u00a0 The deputies are at the neighbor’s house and he just took a shot at them.\u00a0 They’re on the PA telling him to put down his weapon right now.”<\/p>\n

Then the people who live next to that neighbor arrived, telling us the deputies had barricaded the road to their house and they needed a place to hang out until the neighbor was safely in custody.\u00a0 So we sat at the kitchen table, sipping drinks, and catching up with them.\u00a0 It was a different kind of catching up.\u00a0 We rehashed all the crazy antics the neighbor had been up to since we saw each other last, reminisced over the days when he had a job instead of a meth habit, and made future escape plans in case of emergency.\u00a0 Welcome to Saturday night in the country.<\/p>\n

I think T handled it all with grace and aplomb.\u00a0 Considering the last surprise visitor she had at her house was Michael Jordan.\u00a0 He was playing golf on the golf course in her back yard when the neighborhood kids flagged him down for pictures.\u00a0 Really.<\/p>\n

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Michael Jordan.\u00a0 Booooring.<\/p>\n

By the time the flashing lights and sirens cleared out, it was bedtime for everyone.\u00a0 Because the party wasn’t over yet.<\/p>\n

First thing in the morning, G was up to test his enthusiasm for farming.\u00a0 Apparently, he’d been telling his family and classmates that he wanted to be a farmer when he grew up.\u00a0 And we’ve got lots of job training opportunities for that.\u00a0 So when the first rooster crows woke him up, it was out to do the chores.<\/p>\n

There were chickens to feed….<\/p>\n

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….and eggs to collect….<\/p>\n

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….as well as learning the old school method for gathering eggs when you forget to bring out the egg basket.<\/p>\n

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He fed the goats….<\/p>\n

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….and forked hay for the sheep.\u00a0 Don’t tell Tina she’s a goat and not one of the sheep.\u00a0 She and the lambs were bottle fed together and so she thinks she’s one of them.\u00a0 I fully expect her to get in line when the shearing starts.<\/p>\n

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Then the pony gets her grain.\u00a0 Don’t tell the farrier we are still giving her grain.\u00a0 Last time he was here, he called her fat.\u00a0 I think “obese” was the actual word that he used.\u00a0 He said it right in front of her.\u00a0 Called her “obese” like if she wasn’t even standing there.\u00a0 I’m re-evaluating his services.\u00a0 Because do I really want\u00a0 a man willing to throw that word around when visiting my farm?? Do I?<\/p>\n

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G got the milking done….<\/p>\n

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….emptied the water trough and refilled it with fresh water….<\/p>\n

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….and then it was finally time to let out the baby goats to nurse.\u00a0 They swarmed out to find their momma, pausing briefly to pose for pictures.<\/p>\n

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Except one goat kid was missing.\u00a0 And when we entered the kidding barn, we found that Prim, one of the goat kids, had died during the night.\u00a0 It looked like bloat, which is odd because the kids are offered free access grain from the time they are 3 weeks old and get separated from their mother at night.\u00a0 But the swollen belly and foamy nose were pretty indicative that was what happened.\u00a0 G stood in the doorway, looking confused.<\/p>\n

“Is it dead?” he asked.<\/p>\n

“Yep,”\u00a0 I replied, gathering up the kid.\u00a0 “Sometimes it happens.\u00a0 Just part of farming.”<\/p>\n

“Sometimes babies die, ” agreed Little.<\/p>\n

“Huh.\u00a0 Prim died,”\u00a0 said Middle and then he went back to throwing acorns.<\/p>\n

G watched us going about our business and followed me to Sacrifice Stump where I left the kid for the foxes or coyotes.\u00a0 I doubt he had ever seen death handled with such stoicism.\u00a0 He looked a bit shell shocked by the time we were ready to head in with the milk bucket.\u00a0 Either he was worried that we were inhuman robots or he was afraid Bruno was about to eat him.\u00a0 He does have a dog at home.\u00a0 But it’s a chihuahua. So hard to say what was bothering him the most.<\/p>\n

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Pretty was the only one that flinched when we came in with the news that Prim had died.<\/p>\n

“Of course it was Prim, ” she muttered disconsolately.\u00a0 “It’s always the friendliest ones that die.”<\/p>\n

I was actually thinking it’s usually the valuable livestock that dies.\u00a0 As a polled female, Prim would have brought the highest price when the kids were sold.\u00a0 But Pretty was right.\u00a0 It’s always the chicken that\u00a0 lets you scoop her up and rides sweetly on your shoulder that gets eaten when a dog gets loose.\u00a0 Or the goat kid that comes up to visiting children to be petted instead of racing away frantically that bloats up and dies.\u00a0 I’m not sure if it’s karmic reinforcement of the old adage that “only the good die young” or an indication that extreme domesticity is located on the chromosome carrying weak genes.\u00a0 Either way, if a goat kid was going to die, “May the odds be ever in your favor” did not hold true for Prim.<\/p>\n

With the farm managed for the day, we packed up and headed off to the next city.\u00a0 Since the schools were closed (again) we had planned a fun day and overnight stay at a huge indoor waterpark close to T’s house.\u00a0 By huge, I mean HUGE.<\/p>\n

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With a huge bucket that dumps on those willing to stand underneath.<\/p>\n

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With lots of fun slides.<\/p>\n

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As well as slides that were unnecessarily steep, dark, and scary.\u00a0 Don’t be fooled by the cute pink and yellow checks.\u00a0 The Tornado was awful enough to make me scream every time I went down it with the kids.<\/p>\n

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Based on the kids’ laughter I think my fear on the Tornado was one of the kids’ favorite parts of the whole adventure.\u00a0 Way to show the love, people, way to show the love.<\/p>\n

Thank goodness, the baby had to sleep on occasion. So I took a turn watching him and sent T off to explore the rides for a while.<\/p>\n

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This is why people started living in villages.\u00a0 So that everyone got a turn watching the baby and everyone got a turn riding the waterslides.\u00a0 Either that or group protection from tigers.\u00a0 Something like that.\u00a0 Regardless, everyone got their turn on all the rides.\u00a0 And then some.\u00a0 After 2 days of water-logged fun, we finally said our goodbyes and headed to our separate homes.\u00a0 But not before stopping out front to knock on the great plastic wolf.<\/p>\n

Because my partner at work, who doesn’t have children yet, was just as horrified as me when he heard we were planning a trip to the waterpark.\u00a0 For different reasons, of course.\u00a0 I was appalled at the thought of a vacation spent walking around a hotel in my swim suit.\u00a0 He was appalled at the thought of my family spending time in a crowded, tacky, overpriced theme park.\u00a0 He told me that he had stopped by the waterpark once and that in addition to its fake lodge appearance there was a huge fake wolf outside.\u00a0 When he knocked on it, he discovered it was just hollow plastic!\u00a0 So knock, knock, N.\u00a0 May you enjoy your upcoming years of tacky, hollow, overpriced kid-fun theme parks.\u00a0 That is, if you survive getting up at night with an infant when you’re in your 40’s \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

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So that’s how it done, people.\u00a0 2 cities and 1 exciting night in the country.\u00a0 All in 3 days. Until we were way too tired to worry about teeth brushing.\u00a0 And being worried about having to ride the Tornado again was replaced with worrying about getting some fresh hay in before the next rain.\u00a0 Back to the grind.\u00a0 In my barn clothes instead of my swimsuit.\u00a0 Thank goodness!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sometimes the party never ends.\u00a0 Or at least it doesn’t end until the kids are so exhausted that they put themselves to bed and the adults are too exhausted to care if the kids brushed their teeth or not.\u00a0 As a matter of fact, the adults are so tired that they just open a new […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6688","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6688","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6688"}],"version-history":[{"count":62,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6688\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6795,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6688\/revisions\/6795"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6688"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6688"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6688"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}