and the ridiculously ugly.<\/p>\n The\u00a0weak…<\/p>\n and the sickly.<\/p>\n The abandoned…<\/p>\n and the orphaned.<\/p>\n And, of course, the free…<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n …and merge them all into this productive and profitable enterprise called a farm.\u00a0 By profitable, I mean,…um,…huh.\u00a0 What does<\/em> profitable mean?\u00a0 More eggs than you can eat (except in the winter)?<\/p>\n More wool than you can spin (if you knew how to spin)?<\/p>\n Enough milk to drink and make cheese (except when the pigs are\u00a0hogging the extra milk)?<\/p>\n Lots of does to sell in the spring (unless they’re all bucks)?<\/p>\n Tons of swiss chard (which only 1 kid will eat)?<\/p>\n Eh.\u00a0 Perhaps we should just stick to productive.\u00a0 I think profitable might require more selling and less animal snatching.\u00a0 Or receipts and bookkeeping.\u00a0 Receipts!\u00a0 Bookkeeping! (shudder)<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n In any case, if my role is bringing in the animals, then The Other Half’s job is to help usher them out.\u00a0 By butcher knife, by craigslist, or by flea market, he’s not afraid to cut back on the dependents he’s feeding around here.\u00a0 And he is not easily swayed by cuteness.\u00a0 (One of his most admirable traits.\u00a0 Cute doesn’t last forever, you know.\u00a0 Not that I’m worried about losing my cute.\u00a0 Because I’m not.\u00a0 Not at all.\u00a0 Ever.)<\/p>\n The Other Half is most happy when he comes home to fewer faces in the barnyard and has to make fewer trips to the feed mill.\u00a0 He’s more of a “rationed” hay\u00a0 than “free access” sort of guy.\u00a0 And he is most supportive when I am thinking of selling or trading some of the livestock.\u00a0 As long it’s not a trade for something else that eats grain.\u00a0 Or another miniature horse.\u00a0 I don’t think he was impressed with the trade for the miniature horse.\u00a0 Eh.<\/p>\n So I was sure when we called him on a late Sunday afternoon I could rely on him to say “No.”\u00a0 As a matter of fact, that’s the only reason we called.\u00a0 I never call if I really want something.\u00a0 If I really want something, I’ve found that it’s better just to go ahead and get it.\u00a0 And spend the hours before The Other Half gets home from work formulating arguments in support of my actions.\u00a0 Or putting on makeup and a tight outfit.\u00a0 That’s how a successful marriage works.\u00a0 Duh.<\/p>\n I called because I was undecided.\u00a0 On the fence.\u00a0 Leaning towards “This is probably a bad idea.”\u00a0 Plus, I thought I was being unduly influenced by the kids.\u00a0 Who were jumping around begging and pleading and making all sorts of arguments for “Yes.”<\/p>\n Confident that the whole thing could be put behind us with a quick telephone call, I dialed The Other Half at work.<\/p>\n “I guess we should should see what Daddy thinks about this.\u00a0 We’ll let him decide, ” I told the kids.<\/p>\n They quieted.\u00a0 This was very new behavior for me. Calling to ask for permission???!!!\u00a0 They peered at me closely.\u00a0 Was I sick?\u00a0 They glanced at my coffee cup and looked around to see if the bottle of American Honey was on the counter.\u00a0 Was I drunk?\u00a0 On a Sunday???\u00a0 They glanced at our Elf on the Shelf.\u00a0 Was I worried about Santa Claus?<\/p>\n As soon as The Other Half answered the phone he said, “Hey.\u00a0 What did you find at the flea market?”<\/p>\n Amazing.\u00a0 We’re like mindlink or something.<\/p>\n “Well,” I said, “first of all, some very good tamales.\u00a0 Which is what we went for.\u00a0 That’s all we were going to get.\u00a0 We didn’t plan on getting anything else.\u00a0 Nothing.\u00a0 Just those tamales.\u00a0 The good ones. With spicy chicken.\u00a0 The ones where the masa isn’t too mushy.\u00a0 You know.”<\/p>\n He was silent.\u00a0 Waiting.<\/p>\n Then I told him what else we found.\u00a0 And that we didn’t get it yet.<\/p>\n “So,” I said, “the kids and I were just wondering what you thought.\u00a0 Probably a bad idea, huh?”<\/p>\n “I’m not opposed to it, ” he answered.\u00a0\u00a0 Wha???<\/strong><\/p>\n “We were going to get another one in the next year or so anyway,” he continued.\u00a0 “If you found a good one now, then it’s probably fine.”<\/p>\n I was quiet.\u00a0 I listened fro sneezing.\u00a0 Was he sick?\u00a0 I wondered what he was doing.\u00a0 Was he drunk?\u00a0 At work???\u00a0 I thought about how close we were to the holidays.\u00a0 Was he completely out of ideas as to what to get me for Christmas?<\/p>\n We discussed it a bit more and then I hung up the phone, stunned.\u00a0 The kids danced around me joyfully.\u00a0 But I figured it wasn’t a done deal yet.<\/p>\n “It’s already 2pm,” I reminded them as we got back into the car.\u00a0 “The seller might be gone already.\u00a0 Or he might not be willing to accept the price that Daddy and I agreed upon.\u00a0 Or they might all be sold by now.\u00a0 Also, I haven’t used my new ATM card yet and I’m not sure if it works.”<\/p>\n Perhaps the Universe wanted to say “No.”<\/p>\n But The ATM card worked.\u00a0 The seller was still there.\u00a0 They weren’t sold out.\u00a0 And the seller, reluctantly, agreed to our price.<\/p>\n It was like living in The World of YES.<\/p>\n So I can’t be held responsible for the new arrival.\u00a0 No, I can’t.\u00a0 I place this addition to the feed bill (…and the vet bill…and the cost of accessories) squarely on the shoulders of The Other Half.\u00a0 And the kids.\u00a0 And the Universe.\u00a0 Not me, people.\u00a0 Not this time.<\/p>\n In any case, welcome to Bella.<\/p>\n Bruno’s new assistant and livestock-guardian-in-training.<\/p>\n In the interest of proper socialization, we are scheduling puppy visitations at this time.\u00a0 In between puppy naps, of course.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/chicks.jpg\" "\\"chicks\\"")
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